Did We Say That Out Loud?

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

2009-02-19T10:47:00.002-05:00

I have it all. Cough, highlighter-yellow snot, bronchitis, ear infection complete with hearing loss... Hot tip: If this keeps up, Kleenex stock will surely be going up due to the sheer volume I am using. That doesn't constitute an insider tip, does it?

Now that I work full time in a preschool, I am sick all the time. I have had pinkeye and continuous colds since September. Sucks for me, right? I keep telling those kids to share their toys and not their germs, but I am apparently not communicating in their native tongue. I swear I spend most of my day saying, "Todd, use the magic soap!!! Kenny, we don't pick our nose- magic soap!!" Yup, buy stock in Purell as well, folks.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to blow my nose again. Do you think the newest Crayola Crayon will be Snot Yellow?

Book Review from the Verge: Cross Country by James Patterson

2008-12-27T11:47:00.005-05:00

I am angry. Really angry. Okay, I would be angrier if I had purchased this book rather than winning it from 1340magbooks.com, but I wasted the time reading it. Let me explain.

I have a short list of authors that I really like. Some are very literary, some fast and fun, some just plain old suspense/mystery. I love all kinds of books. I started reading James Patterson many years ago, really enjoying his fast paced psychological suspense. Whatever he published, I read. It was usually a quick, guilty pleasure, but a pleasure nonetheless.

Over the last couple of years, Patterson has become a publishing monster, kicking out one book after the next with a host of inferior "partners" whom I suspected of actually writing the book and using Patterson's fame to sell them. I tried reading a few. It wasn't good. So I decided to just sit back, relax, and keep up with the Alex Cross series, which he continued to write solo. I felt invested in those characters: Cross, Sampson, Nana Mama, Jannie, Damon, and even Ali when he came along.

I was thrilled when Cross Country came out. I looked forward to it. I was jumping up and down when I actually won a copy! I saved it to read over Christmas break. Curling up by the fire, I settled in for good ride... and was I disappointed.

It started out well. A heinous crime, violent multiple murders, had landed on Cross's plate. As a detective, he is always driven, and when it is personal, even moreso. This time? Sheesh.

Alex Cross always put family first. His children have no mother. His family needs him. So for this case he follows an indiscriminately violent psychopath to AFRICA?! Right. He puts himself into harm's way so many times that I was rolling my eyes by mid-book. That, coupled with Patterson's lazy style, completely put me off. A novelist who overuses dashes --- and exclamation points !!!! to get his point across in chapters that are mostly one and one half pages long is not a good writer.

I won't bother you with the convoluted details. Patterson gets his heavy handed point across about the horrors in Africa many times over. I don't think I need to hit you over the head with my viewpoint. This book stinks. I am breaking up with Patterson. I urge you to do the same.

~Lucy

A fun place to visit...

2008-11-16T11:59:00.002-05:00

As some of you remember, I write a soap column. I have been attempting to keep up-to-date on that while working full time and maintaining my home life. Unfortunately, this is the area that has suffered. I need to get myself back here, posting regularly... and I have to drag Ethel along for the ride.

Anyway, if you are looking for a fun site - somewhere that I have been hanging out when I have a moment - check out: Passive agressive (and just plain aggressive) notes

It is fantastic!I will see if I can get the Verge Chief Political Advisor, Ethel, to post something about the recent election....

RIP Pokey

2008-10-14T18:58:00.001-05:00

We held a brief, but poignant funeral service for Pokey the goldfish this evening. He is buried near the burning bush in a velvet lined bowl. RIP Pokey.

Bowlside Vigil

2008-10-12T11:08:00.003-05:00

Some of you may remember my post about the geriatric goldfish duo in my house. As I write this, Pokey is suffering partial paralysis and apparent internal bleeding. We are holding a bowlside vigil and preparing funeral arrangements. Please say a silent prayer for my 11 year old as he loses his friend of 9 long years, Pokey the Goldfish.

This is only a test....

2008-08-01T09:15:00.001-05:00

Wondering if I can still find my way around here... I found a wonderful web site to share with anyone who is still checking in: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Enjoy.

Lucy

2008-04-24T18:07:00.003-05:00

Oh dear... I wonder if any of you is still around. Ethel and I have been crazy busy. Family illnesses, personal illnesses, and all manner of crises. I don't know when we will be back... Sorry....

Lucy

And We Thought the Insanity Would End...

2007-09-06T11:07:00.000-05:00

I saw my kids off to school yesterday after several days of frenetic supply shopping, arguing over summer assignment completion deadlines, and general lousy moods over the end of their freedom.

For some reason I thought this would leave me with time to, oh... I don't know, write in our blog or something. I was delusional. I have done nothing but try to repair the damage done by having three children home for two and a half months. We had no food in the house. Laundry has progressed to the point where climbing gear is required to scale the piles of clothes. I'd tell you about the Dust Bunnies, but they are so big I'm afraid they'll ambush me if they catch wind of my plan to eradicate them.

I hope that by next week I will be able to find my way over to Ethel's and make sure she is properly untied. Somehow I expect she'll have something to say over Fred Thompson announcing his presidential intentions on Jay Leno, don't you?

Heeeeellllllppppppp!!!

2007-07-20T18:08:00.001-05:00

Lucy and I are currently tied up ... our kids wanted to play cops and robbers... guess who got to be the robbers??? As soon as we get the knots worked loose we'll be back.

In the meantime a few tidbits ( sorry but typing with my big toe is quite laborious):

I heard that the Prez challenged Congress to "support the troops" and give them what they need. I just hope that Ms. Pelosi heard and she'll start the impeachment proceedings toot sweet.

And filed under "Isn't It Ironic?", I found it highly interesting that the President and the MSM are telling us that the troops want to stay and that they don't want to "cut and run" and yet Ron Paul, a man who has been steadfastly against this President's hawkish insanity from the beginning, has received 52% of his campaign donations for his presidential run from active duty military. Seems like those soldiers must've misplaced Dub's memo.

Concerning the former Surgeon General's testimony that he was not only blocked from discussing health issues that were in conflict with Georgie's policies, told not to attend the Special Olympics because *sniff* that odious Kennedy family was affiliated with that organization, but that he was also ordered to mention the President's name three times on every page of each speech he gave. I've got to say that this wasn't much of a surprise. I mean is it much of a reach to imagine that a man who even has his socks and skivvies monogrammed with the presidential seal would be megalomaniacal enough to make such a demand?? Shoot, I'll even lay odds that he's got a big ol' magnifying glass hanging above the presidential urinal.

I could keep going but my foot is turning blue... and we think we hear them coming back...gulp.

Declaration of Independence II

2007-07-04T07:07:00.000-05:00

I thought it might be a lovely idea to present this to our esteemed leader on this 4th of July and declare our own independence... from him.

"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the
political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these [States]; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present [President of The United States] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation.

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury.

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences.

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments.

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

A [President], whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people."

Justice Dubya Style

2007-07-02T19:01:00.000-05:00

President Bush continues to strive to reach new lows as he commutes "Scooter" Libby's sentence preventing him from serving any jail time for committing treason by exposing the identity of a covert CIA operative... in war time... and then lying about it in court. Is it possible that we were all dreaming when we saw him say that anyone in his administration who was involved in Ms. Plame's "outing" would be fired and face appropriate legal action??? Apparently our president feels that the sentence was too harsh. Obviously the 30 months "Scooter" had been sentenced to serve would have been an excessive hardship for him and his family.

I just have to wonder though...where was this sense of compassion when he served as governor of Texas and refused to pardon any of those serving on death row? And where , by the way, is this new found sense of compassion for those troops serving their sentences in that prison called Iraq? Or could it be that only those who have dirt on our beloved leader benefit from his generosity???

Happy To Be Back!!!

2007-06-29T08:29:00.000-05:00

I'm checking in to let everyone know that I'm still alive and kicking ( no black uniformed Blackwater contractors have come to carry me off in the middle of the night... yet). As Lucy let you all know I've been buried beneath seemingly endless renovation projects filled with glitches (the full gallon of $50 fume free lavender paint that caused about $700 in replaced carpet and pad... we still haven't had the antique dresser refinished... sigh). Unfortunately we've had to try to finish as much as possible before my husband leaves for a three month long class in Alabama in a few weeks.

I was also recruited by the Learning Disability Association near the end of April to do some public speaking to help with fundraising and spent much of my first several weeks away writing and re-writing my speech. I spent an equal amount of time in those weeks pacing frantically and trying to control my nausea as I obsessed about how much I dislike speaking in front of large groups of people.

In the middle of all that our youngest daughter's school went through a change in administration. The new folks in charge felt it was time to shift from focusing on teaching gifted children ( after all there aren't that many statistically speaking and they're more expensive to educate) to "saving" them. Are the hairs standing up on the back of your neck yet??? Yep, her wonderful school will be a fundie christian school next year. Needless to say we declined to stick around for the brainwashing. Unfortunately, this meant we had to find a new school and fast. Thankfully we were able to find one that should work well for her. They don't participate in the standardized testing craze and.. hold onto your hats... they actually encourage critical thinking. I'll keep you updated on the efficacy of this revolutionary approach.

Since then it's been a typical whirlwind of end of the school year chaos and the fact that if I try to sit at the computer for longer than 30 seconds it seems to trigger various catastrophes accompanied by the plaintive cry of "Mooooooommmmmmm" that require my immediate attention. I'm hoping that in between taxiing my kids to their various classes, life guarding at the pool, supervising crafting activities and my general refereeing duties that I should be able to begin writing on a fairly regular basis again and taking some much needed strolls through the blogosphere. I look forward to visiting you all soon!!!

Ethel

A Poem by Lucy's 13 year old Son

2007-06-26T08:51:00.000-05:00

My son was inspired to write the following poem. I found it pretty amusing because he is honest to a fault....

Cheaters never win they say,
I've come to hear that much,
But everything I've cheated for,
Has come into my clutch.
From books and games and magazines,
and all the toys galore,
Getting all these things just makes
me want to cheat some more.
So "Cheaters never win" those words,
they put me in such pain,
When the truth of the matter is,
That cheaters always gain.

MIA

2007-06-25T18:27:00.001-05:00

We are sorry to be absent for so much of June, but we are literally on the go all the time. Please bear with us and we will return as soon as we can!

Where's Ethel?

2007-06-13T13:30:00.001-05:00

Not to worry... Ethel is slightly overwhelmed with her kids' year end school activities/exams as well as some ill-fated home improvement projects. She sends her love and will be back ranting as soon as she gets the lavender paint spill off of the antique dresser... Looooong story.

Lucy

Tyra Banks, Worst Role Model... Ever

2007-06-11T09:15:00.000-05:00

In April, Tyra Banks was photographed on a beach. She was wearing a swimsuit and had *gasp* cellulite. Tabloid headlines screamed that the supermodel had gained weight. The unflattering pics were splattered across every cover in the checkout aisle. Did Tyra just take it? Nope.

Tyra went public with her weight: 165 lbs. She orchestrated her own onslaught of tabloid covers with a more flattering picture of herself in a swimsuit. She dedicated an episode of her talk show to feeling good about yourself, regardless of weight. Tyra and her "So What?" campaign were champions of women. Great, right?

6 weeks later Tyra was again on magazine covers. This time the headlines screeched: "How Tyra Got Slim!" and "Tyra sheds 30 pounds in 6 weeks!" She is in a green bikini and grinning. Apparently she didn't listen to her own message about feeling good about yourself. Apparently that was all spin. Apparently, although we don't put a whole lot of stock in what she says anyway, we shouldn't bother to listen at all now.

Way to be a role model, Tyra.

Lucy

I'm onto you, Oprah!

2007-06-07T07:27:00.000-05:00

Oprah, all powerful media goddess, is up to something.... And I think it's a hidden agenda and alliance with the Pharmaceutical industry. She has gone to great lengths to encourage us to read The Road by Cormac McCarthy, which she has said she is "passionate" about. I heard she told Larry King that it was an "inspirational father-son story" and like nothing she has ever read before.

If "inspiration" is what I was supposed to find, I must have gotten a bum copy. I read the The Road, and by the end of this bleak, depressing saga I was onto Oprah's tricks. In what must be a covert deal with drug companies, Oprah is choosing the most depressing books she can get her hands on. As readers sink into despair, they will seek out the help of antidepressant drugs from their physicians. Ah, how I love a good conspiracy theory.

Just watch... Future editions of many of Oprah's picks (see The Road, The Book of Ruth, Map of the World, etc.) will come with a special edition Prozac trial prescription bookmark in every copy and mini-therapy sessions with Dr. Phil in the "afterwords".

I'm onto you, Oprah....

Lucy

Hairapy

2007-05-28T19:10:00.001-05:00

You know that SunSilk shampoo slogan, “Get Hairapy?” I need it... but not in a bottle.

I have always been fickle with my hair. I change the style and color pretty often, but for the last five years or so I have been in a rut. My stylist, with whom I have a 20 year relationship, has always enjoyed the fact that I like change and as a result of our rapport I have had very few bad hair incidents. Usually bad things happen when I ask her to do something that she tells me my hair won’t do... and I tell her to try anyway.

So on with my story. Last week I decided to change my style and color for spring/summer. I meticulously found pictures of Reese Witherspoon from the movie “Sweet Home Alabama” (it was on TV all this week) online and decided to brighten up my naturally dark brunette hair with chunky gold highlights.

I strolled in bearing my pictures (my stylist has an inch thick stack of my picture requests from the last 20 years) and she started to cut. The cut went well, lopping off a good 4 inches or so in the back. I liked it. Then came the color. The regular highlights in the back and sides were fine, but the chunky ones on top turned... *shudder* orange. Yes, the “O” word. A word no woman wants to hear from her hairdresser’s mouth during coloring. Not Lucy orange, mind you, traffic cone orange. So she reapplied the solution and I sat, eyes watering, under the dryer. When I emerged, the orange had turned white. Not good. My stylist then continued through 4 more procedures, ending with my highlights not only still white, but breaking off in chunks. This led to the other “O” word no woman wants to hear at a salon: Overprocessed. After five hours at the salon, I did not handle this well. I insisted on handing her a check and I left, crying.

I have notoriously low self esteem and my hair is the one thing that I actually like about myself, so this was a real blow. I fretted and sulked and considered my options. I could don a red string bracelet and shave my head a la Britney; Buy some lovely robes, shave my head and declare Hare Krishna in the local airport; Fake cancer (okay, so I couldn’t really sink that low, but it did cross my mind) and lament the side effects of chemo. In the end, I headed to the store and purchased $40 worth of moisturizing and repairing hair products. I knew my problem was well beyond the scope of these mere mortal treatments, but I had to try.

As I sat in my bedroom, my head slathered with “revitalizing damage reversing” goop and ensconced in a lovely plastic shower cap, my stylist called. She was very upset. She apologized profusely, swore she would return my check and offered twice weekly deep conditioning treatments for free. She felt horrible. I, of course, felt worse because the evidence of the incident was currently pasted to my scalp. But we verbally kissed and made up, amidst numerous apologies from her and comforting yet still slightly stunned about my hair remarks from me.

I have spent the last few days conditioning twice daily and perfecting an art of deception that would make "Mata Hairi" proud. I purchased ten pair of decorative bobby pins for swooping the unaffected hair over the stubbly remains of my highlights. A wide headband works wonders for covering that nasty broken area. Thank God for whoever decided that zigzag parts were a good idea...

And when all is said and done, I am facing weeks of continuing counterfeit hairdos, all designed to conceal the shame of the previously orange, overprocessed, remains of my highlights. So, does anyone out there know a good hairapist?

Lucy

Poll from the Verge

2007-05-28T11:11:00.000-05:00

I have a question....

I noticed that we have quite a bit of traffic from dial up connections as well as dsl and broadband. I was concerned about the slow loading of our page due to the leopard background behind the page (it only showed in the narrow border since I expanded to 3 columns). I recently removed that background and I am wondering:

Does our blog load faster for you now?

Thanks for your input... and watch for my entry later this week about my need for extreme Hairapy!

Lucy

Parenting... sort of...

2007-05-18T18:35:00.001-05:00

Last spring, slogging through the mire of required courses for my high school age son, we discovered that every student is required to take a half credit parenting class. Trying to be proactive, we decided to get it out of the way during the second semester of this, his freshman year. We were presented with two options: Child Psychology and Parenting. We knew that in one of the courses, a weekend with a computerized baby was required. Logic dictated that the baby would be part of the Parenting class, so my son signed up for Child Psychology.

Apparently logic has nothing to do with high school courses, because my son was assigned a weekend in April with “Wing Lee”, his Asian baby. In preparation for our guest, my son cancelled all of his plans. He ditched the movie with his friends, declined to sing in the choir at church, and planned to stay inside with Wing Lee all weekend. There was no way in hell he was dragging a baby doll out anywhere with him.

On Friday, I drove to school to pick Sam up. He trudged out of the school with a blanket covered lump in a car seat, a diaper bag, and grim expression. The entire trip home he fiddled with the sensor bracelet that he would have to scan over the baby’s stomach or back before dealing with it, to confirm that he was the caregiver. We got home, unloaded, and waited for the “activation”. His teacher had refused to give any inkling as to time of launch.

Wing Lee's arrival

Around 4:00pm Wing Lee began to cry. He had 4 cries: Feeding, Changing, Burping, and Rocking. The student was required to “chime” the infant with his wrist band, determine the baby’s need and meet it, and then record the time and his comments. The first few hours were basically uneventful, with feedings and changings and miscellaneous cooing sounds in between.

The feeding and changing cries became easy to identify. The burping and rocking were indistinguishable and were increasingly grating. It took between fifteen and thirty minutes to satisfy the burping or rocking cry. Apparently Wing Lee had colic... or rust on his microchip... either way he was one unhappy electronic infant.

Wing Lee being unhappy

Sam had planned to just forgo sleep for the weekend, but we convinced him that he needed to try to sleep when the baby did. He shut his door for the night, Wing Lee tucked safely in his car seat.

Saturday morning found Sam up early with Wing Lee. The night wasn’t too bad, but knowing what his friends had gone through, he knew that Saturday night was bound to be horrible. The weather was gorgeous, but taking Wing Lee outside would be risky. If anyone bumped the seat or jostled him wrong it could cost points. If Wing Lee was picked up without perfect head support, he would wail for what felt like an hour. We took him in the back yard for a short while, feeding, changing, burping and rocking and generally not enjoying the day.

By afternoon we were getting sick of Wing Nut’s whining. He had no schedule at all. The teacher told the students that he had varying schedules, but I have had three children and ten nieces and nephews and none of them had any “schedule” like Wing Nut. He would cry to be fed, take the bottle for 10 minutes, be quiet for 5 minutes and want to be fed again. Once he ate 4 times in one hour with no burping. The burping was completely random and unrelated to feeding. As a teaching tool, this thing was ridiculous. If it had a learning curve, where the student could begin to anticipate the baby’s needs, maybe it would have made sense, but the random absurd demands taught nothing.

Saturday night, Sam was up with Wong Fu 12 times. He was exhausted. We found him on the couch in the morning, baby next to him apparently sleeping. “Sure, sleep now, Stupid!” my son glared at it. Wing Nut demanded Sam’s full attention Saturday and by nightfall he was a mess. He dreaded going to bed because he was certain that the baby would cry every five minutes.

We put an air mattress next to our bed and kept Sam and Wong Fu company for the night. He wasn’t up as often, but Monday morning, we were all ready for Wing Nut to go back to school.

With relish I completed my parent portion of the baby packet. I stated that the tool was foolish and useless. I do not think it will deter teens from having sex. I do not think that in the heat of the moment, a teen will stop and say, “Oh no! Remember Wing Nut! We should stop!” The experience did not kick off any conversations about parenting because we have already had them. I ranted about the lack of schedule and the horror of keeping a fifteen year old up all night with a guessing game. C’mon, at night it couldn’t be programmed to change, eat, burp and go back to sleep? I made clear the fact that this was a parenting activity and had no place in a Child Psych class. Luckily my pages did not count as part of his grade. He managed to get a 90% all on his own. With one unsupported head pick up and one cry that went unanswered because we couldn’t figure out what the hell Wing Nut wanted, he passed with flying colors.

Wing Lee by the end of his visit (We had all aged)

What did we learn from this wonderful experience? I’m making sure my other sons sign up for Parenting Class.

Lucy

Bill Maher 05/04/07 - GOP Presidential Debate

2007-05-10T02:56:00.001-05:00

GRRRRRRR!!

2007-05-08T06:46:00.000-05:00

I have tried posting a video for the past 24 hours and I am FRUSTRATED!!!!!!! Rather than continue beating my head against the wall, please go to youtube and type in "Bill Maher May 4 GOP Debate". The clip is about 38 seconds and my text was...

" All they're missing are the multiple references to September 11th set to scary music."

Who knows, maybe a week from now it'll actually get posted.

Ethel

An Open Letter To Congress

2007-05-04T07:39:00.000-05:00

Since our fearless leader broke out his shiny new veto pen to use on the Iraq Accountablity Act, there has been much debate as to what to do next. My question is WHY?? You are engaged in the ultimate game of "Chicken" with a tyrant. You were placed in that position by an overwhelming majority of the people you work for, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. You are there acting on OUR behalf. For God's sake, don't blink!!!!

Let's not forget that this man was not only given everything he asked for in terms of funding, but was actually given MORE than he requested. The only caveat was a non-binding timetable for withdrawl from the gaping maw of death and destruction that is Iraq. NON-BINDING!!!!

An analogy may be in order. Let's say my 12 year old daughter presents me with a proposal for a birthday party. I tell her that I'd like to try to keep the costs as close to $100 as possible. If she looks at me with complete and utter disdain, telling me that she can't possibly be expected to plan a party with with any kind of financial limits placed upon her, I do what any parent worth their salt would do. I tell her that if she does not accept my offer, she will need to find a way to fund it herself... NEXT YEAR because this year she'll be doing community service on her special day.

What's my point? This president is acting like an ill-behaved adolescent. Send the same bill back to him and let him continue to hold his breath. So what if he doesn't like it??? Too bad!!! Trust me, he'll have to take a breath sooner or later. Under no circumstances should you give in to him. HE is the one responsible now for cutting funds for the troops, not you. The American people know that. Do not cave under his threats and foot-stomping. Rescind his authority because if he can't play nicely, he shouldn't be allowed to play at all. This man needs boundaries set. GIVE THEM TO HIM!!!

Ethel

New Universal Gas Sign

2007-05-01T06:13:00.000-05:00

As I head out to spend a large portion of the day driving, I thought this would be an appropriate time to share this sign since misery loves company. How bad is the oil company's raping and pillaging where you are???

Standing By His Man : The Story of Dubya and Gonzo

2007-04-29T14:34:00.000-05:00

Dubya and Gonzo were breaking camp under a blazing Texas sunrise, preparing for another long day of clearing brush. Peeking out at Dubya from under lowered lashes Gonzo quietly asked,"You still angry?"

Dubya strolled over to Gonzo gently cuffing him on the chin."You know I can't stay mad at you for long. There aren't very many who truly understand me the way that you do. Not even Laura."

Reassured for the moment, Gonzo began to pack the bedroll with the rest of his gear. Turning slightly away as he strapped his supplies to his pony, Gonzo inquired hesitatingly,"But what are you going to do if they keep pushing for you to fire me?"

Dubya threw an arm around Gonzo, "Don't you worry 'bout that", he drawled. "You know I can't quit you!"

The men quickly finished their packing, eager to get on with the day's work. They swung on to their mounts, Dubya's a golden palomino and Gonzo's a sprightly paint, and began the long ride to the next area of brush to be cleared. Lulled by the gentle swaying beneath him, Gonzo asked,"But what if HE wants me to go?"

Just then Cowboy Karl appeared on the horizon astride his faithful mule, Sugarplum. Dubya began to smile,"Don't you fret Gonzo, you're doing a heckuva job!" He gazed fondly at Karl as he continued his approach. "You know Gonzo, like him or not, you've gotta admit, Karl's got one mighty fine ass."

Special thanks to Lucy for working a bit of Photo-shop magic in the creation of the graphic for this post!

Ethel

Ah-ha!!!

2007-04-27T08:11:00.000-05:00

Suddenly it's all begun to make sense to me how Dubya could have managed to ignore all those warnings of a possible attack...

Blogger Feeds Broken

2007-04-26T11:54:00.000-05:00

Hacks broken; Blogger working on a fix

Hackosphere reports (per phydeaux3)that Blogger feeds are broken. Feeds are what power most of the hacks. You may find that hacks like Recent Posts/comments and Neo will be broken. So if something on your blog looks strange or is missing, hang in there. Blogger is working on it!

Phew! And I thought I messed something up on our template!

Lucy

Straight-Talk Express:

2007-04-26T08:49:00.001-05:00

McCain implodes on "The Daily Show". As an inadvertent public service John McCain went on to prove once and for all that he's not just "losing it" but that he's officially lost his mind. That train pulled out of the station a looooong time ago and no one even stuck around to turn off the lights.

E

In Case You Weren't Paying Attention

2007-04-24T10:18:00.000-05:00

Spring Fever: The Tale of the Mutant Frog

2007-04-23T09:01:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was the first warm bout of weather we've had after a seemingly endless winter in upstate New York. My daughters, along with a small cadre of other children, armed with buckets and nets spent both days capturing and releasing bullfrogs, leopard frogs, assorted tadpoles, painted turtles and blandings turtles. At one point, after hearing frantic shrieking, I made a mad dash to the pond to release a snapping turtle that had been inadvertently netted.

Unlike most of the nearby moms, I love watching the kids knee-deep in muck. No doubt my love of nature was inherited from my father and nurtured by growing up in a rural area and watching Hodge Podge Lodge on PBS until I was bleary-eyed.

Known to my immediate neighbors as "The Environmentalist", I am the mom who will pick up a snake, wade in the creek to catch crayfish, compare and contrast the characteristics of toads and frogs, and will explain to the children that the giant bird they spotted by the edge of the creek was a great blue heron, not a crane.

Needless to say, when I heard cries of "mutant frog" coming from the creek I was concerned. If there were frogs in the creek displaying genetic mutations I wanted to know about it for obvious reasons. Bordering on hysteria, the children ran up to me speaking over one another about the frog they'd seen with two heads. Urging me to hurry, they grabbed my hand eager to show me the spot where the beast had last been seen.

On our way a mom called out to ask me if the kids were showing me the mutated frog. She shuddered as she described a frog with a head that appeared to have grown another head above it. With growing horror I began to wonder what toxins the kids had been exposed to during their explorations of the creek and adjacent pond. I began to mentally review the list of authorities who would need to be contacted in order to determine how contaminated our previously pristine creek water had become.

We quickly reached the spot and the children pointed at a large rock inhabited by what appeared to be a two-headed toad, not frog. Jumping across the creek boulders, I knelt to examine the creature. It appeared that rather than having two heads, it was as if two toads had been melded together. As I picked it up the children gave shouts of horrified disgust. I turned the toad over and began gently moving its legs. Sure enough, I found small feet tightly gripping underneath the leg joints of the bottom toad. I smiled and carefully placed the breeding pair back onto their boulder. After assuring the kids that the toads were not mutated but were instead making baby toads, I began to walk home.

On the way back I passed by the mom I'd seen a few minutes earlier. She called out to ask if I'd seen the mutated monstrosity. "Yep", I answered. " My guess is that it was caused by spring fever. It'll be just fine if it gets a bottle of wine, a bit of privacy, and a heart-shaped bed in the Poconos."

Ethel

A Very Disturbing Coincidence

2007-04-18T08:43:00.000-05:00

On occasion I read novels by Jodi Picoult. She fancies herself an author unafraid to tackle controversial subjects. Most of her works do indeed deal with dangerous ground. Unfortunately many of these books end with a lackluster, noncommital conclusion (Don't even bother with My Sister's Keeper).

Last week I finished reading her latest: Nineteen Minutes. The subject, if you can believe it, is a school shooting. The victim of bullying fights back with guns in a terrible incident that has some disturbing parallels to the Virginia Tech incident in the news this week. I am not intimating that Ms. Picoult's book has anything to do with Virginia Tech at all... My concern lies in what the author, publisher, and media might do with this coincidence.

Often when tragedy strikes, anyone and everyone is called by the media to comment. So-called experts can be anyone the media feels can extend their coverage and ratings. Here's my concern... Ms. Picoult's book was released in March and is on the NY Times Bestseller List. How long will it take the media to glom onto the parallels and try to thrust the author into the spotlight? That much is expected, but it is her response and the response of her publisher that most worries me. If Simon and Schuster and Jodi Picoult in any way promote her book by riding the coattails of this disaster, I will be seriously pissed off.

I hope that the publisher and author will show integrity and decline to exploit the events in Virginia to hype Nineteen Minutes. We have seen authors take advantage of the celebrity afforded to them as CNN, MSNBC, and others scramble for knowledgeable guests to fill the time between investigation revelations and other "real news". Should Jodi Picoult show the poor taste to presume herself an expert and show up on my screen with her book in hand... well, I guess it will be a Boycott from the Verge. She will lose me as a reader, as well as anyone else I can reach personally and through this blog.

I truly hope that all of my concern is in vain and that no one is even considering the similarities as far as personal gain but, call me a cynic, I can hear Jodi's phone ringing right now.

Lucy

Prayers From the Verge

2007-04-16T14:36:00.000-05:00

While I expect that I will be compelled to voice my opinion about senseless violence at a later date, right now I would just like to pray for all of those lost in the Virginia Tech shootings and would ask you to do the same.

Lucy

Imus Mess

2007-04-14T11:05:00.000-05:00

I planned to sit here and rant about Don Imus and his racist debacle, but I found the entire mess way to repulsive. That, in itself, says it all.
Lucy

LOST: BACK ON TRACK

2007-04-13T09:19:00.000-05:00

The last two episodes of LOST have been much improved. They have returned to the formula that made LOST a hit for the first two seasons. A mix of answers and new questions, no new characters suddenly appearing from nowhere and juicy flashbacks have me on the edge of my seat.

Click Read More for discussion that includes spoiler information from the last two weeks.
Last week found Kate and Juliet handcuffed together in the jungle, apparently abandoned there by the Others. After rescuing Jack and Sayid, and realizing that Locke had joined the Others, they began their journey back towards the camp. Kate flashbacks linked her to Sawyer through his jilted lover, Cassidy. It was an interesting episode and it is definitely setting the stage for further conflict between the survivors. Jack’s trust of Juliet is causing Kate and Sayid to question his judgment.

This week was amazing. An offhand remark from Juliet to Jack indicating that she handcuffed herself to Kate and dragged her into the jungle and lied to her about it calls Jack’s loyalties into question… at least for me. The twisted ending that showed us that Juliet is infiltrating the survivors’ camp to spy for Ben, and that they purposely made Claire sick (that they have implanted her with something that gives them that power!) was a great twist. But the question in my mind still remains: Does Jack know that Juliet is there for the Others? Is he protecting her for them? Does he have another agenda? And WHY?

I don’t know the answers, but I am loving the questions….

Lucy

Ethel in Quarantine

2007-04-10T09:34:00.000-05:00

Spoke to Ethel on the telephone yesterday and she sounded positively green. The flu has claimed its latest victim. Apparently her computer contracted a virus last week and Ethel, kind soul that she is, contracted a sympathy virus that evolved into a full blown bout of the flu. Hopefully she will be on her feet and in full rant very very soon...

Lucy

Happy Easter From the Verge

2007-04-07T20:25:00.000-05:00

House - Does He Care?

2007-04-05T10:56:00.001-05:00

In this week's episode, Fetal Position, House finds himself performing surgery on a fetus in order to save his patient and her unborn child. Despite his earlier claims that the "fetus" is NOT a "baby" he seems touched during this moment... Just a little peek at House's human side.

Lucy

Lost in Translation

2007-03-31T20:01:00.000-05:00

I waited in breathless anticipation of this week’s LOST. Finally I would understand the purpose of the introduction of Niki and Paulo. I was greatly disappointed.

First of all, and this won’t spoil much for folks… I’ll save that for the “read more” section… Niki and Paulo came out of nowhere. Every other new character was introduced with some kind of purpose or context. The “tailies” were survivors from the tail section; the “others” are mysterious folks on the other side of the island; Rousseau is a woman who has been stranded for 16 years; Desmond manned the hatch. For some reason, one day Niki and Paulo suddenly stepped from the background and spoke to main characters. And the main characters knew who they were. It was just wrong.

Secondly, they seemed to have no connection to anyone, no reason for being there and no charisma. I’m attached to Sun and Jin, Claire and Charlie, Desmond, Hurley, Kate, Jack, Sawyer… and while I’m not fond of Locke lately, he has reason to be there. Niki and Paulo are simply useless.

If you haven’t seen this week’s episode: Expose’ (Season 3 episode 14) don’t click “Read More”! If you have…. click away!

(Lucy)
All interviews and sound bites promised that after we saw “Expose’” we would understand Niki and Paulo’s purpose on the island, their connections, and we would like them! Hello? Wrong on all three counts!

After a series of flashbacks placing them in scenes from previous episodes, in which they had no real connections to any of our favorite survivors, I still didn’t see why Niki and Paulo were there. I certainly didn’t like them. I loved it when Sawyer, after being confronted by Niki demanding a gun said, “Who are you anyway?” I felt his pain.

Con artists are in abundance on the island and two more were not necessary. Their greed got them nowhere and they gained nothing. After being bitten by Medusa Spiders and paralyzed, appearing dead, they were buried alive.

I feel ripped off. My time has been wasted. Nothing they did or said added to my Lost “experience”. They enlightened no one to anything. They discovered nothing. They had no history with anyone on the island. It seems like the writers felt they had a few extra episodes to fill so they stuck this in. When fans declared their dislike of these intruders, they were summarily killed.

That was the best part, actually, them getting buried. I just hope to hell the island doesn’t barf them up. They are pretty distasteful.

A Brief Post While the Cough Medicine is Still Working

2007-03-29T10:42:00.000-05:00

I had occasion to visit a 6th grade classroom very recently. I was observing as a teacher was presenting a Social Studies lesson on Ancient Civilizations. Students were obediently copying down the notes from the handwritten overhead slides the teacher had prepared. I noticed a couple of minor spelling and pronunciation errors, but hey, we all make mistakes, right?

That's when she came to it. A crime against all spelling and grammar: "Distastless". You are probably saying, "Huh?" just as I did when faced with this so-called adjective printed in bright purple overhead marker. This "word" was supposed to describe someone who wore excessive amounts of jewelry. A myriad of alternative adjectives ran through my mind: gauche, crass, uncouth... But no, she had chosen to create her own word. This erroneous hybrid of tasteless and distasteful was, well, distasteful.

I watched in silent horror as the children copied this offensive descriptor in their notebooks. As I cleared my throat, ready to attempt a graceful and gentle correction, I launched into a coughing fit. By the time I left the room, got a drink, and recovered, the damage was done and the class had moved on. It was probably for the best. A teacher who would use the word “distastless” would probably not take constructive criticism well.

Which leads me to this question: Shouldn’t that TV show be named “Are you smarter than a 6th grade teacher?”

Lucy

Thanks for your patience

2007-03-28T15:15:00.000-05:00

Last I heard, Ethel was still knee deep in the stomach bug at her house (horrible visual, no?). Here, the kids have nearly fully recovered, however I am still battling their virus (My own fault - I always taught them to share). I not only have the sinus pressure and cough, I also managed to pull a muscle in my back while in the midst of a nasty coughing attack. In other words, be patient with us just a little while longer and we will be back and ranting. We have been chatting and have some interesting topics we hope to discuss very soon....

Now excuse me while I go take my medicine...

Lucy

Plague Alert

2007-03-24T13:12:00.000-05:00

As some of you may know, Lucy has been home most of the week with two sick children suffering from sore throats and fevers. I'm sad to say that although Lucy bathed in Lysol, she is now the latest victim in this germ skirmish. However... she was most grateful to have been spared by the stomach bug that hit my house early this morning. I'll post again after I run out to buy a few cases of disinfectant and bleach...

The Thinking Blogger Award

2007-03-24T09:29:00.000-05:00

Lucy and I would like to thank our favorite feline friend, Tomcat from Politics Plus, for giving us the Thinking Blogger Award. The award is to be passed on to 5 bloggers who cause us to really think. Because the task of only being able to choose 5 out of the many blogs we visit has proven to be extremely difficult for us... we are Lucy and Ethel after all... we decided to throw all of our favorites into a hat and draw names. So if your blog isn't listed it's because having to choose proved to be the equivalent of taking Lucy shopping in a shoe store having a going-out-of-business sale and telling her she can only buy one pair of shoes... and you know how Lucy loves shoes!!

Digging Deeper by Ivan Goldman

morning martini by pissed off patricia

preserve, protect, defend by two crows

there are a million stories by ruth

goodness graciousness by jennifer

Wishes for Elizabeth

2007-03-23T10:02:00.000-05:00

Our thoughts are with John and Elizabeth Edwards and their children. We wish them courage, strength and tranquility...

The Verge

The First Day of the Fifth Year in Iraq

2007-03-20T07:17:00.000-05:00

I knew it wasn’t going to be good when Lucy called to ask if I’d seen the interview Matt Lauer had done with Condi on the Today show yesterday morning. After spending several minutes convincing me that it was something that I really needed to see, I swallowed an anti-emetic to control the nausea I knew I’d soon be experiencing, took a slug of Pepto-Bismol, sat at my computer and prepared to be ill.

In case you missed it, here’s my version of the transcript:

ML: Good morning Madame Secretary.

CR: Good morning, Matthew.

ML: Madame Secretary, today is the beginning of the fifth year our country will have been in Iraq. Is the President marking this milestone in any way?

CR: Well Matt, actually the President will be forgoing his usual quiche and mimosa and will instead behaving a large bowl of Wheaties, the breakfast of champions. He will also be running an additional 5 laps around the track and spend 45 more minutes than usual in a dry sauna in a show of solidarity and respect for the exhausting job facing our brave young troops and the sometimes sweltering conditions they must endure.

[The interview cuts to the Presidents speech addressing the beginning of the fifth year of the war]

Blah blah September 11th blah Iraq blah blah blah blah blah weapons of mass destruction blah blah blah blah surge blah blah hard work blah blah blah terrorists blah blah blah Al Qaeda blah blah Saddam Hussein blah blah Spetember 11th blah blah Iran blah blah blah newkular capability blah blah blah must not cut and run blah blah blah making progress blah blah blah blah elections blah blah blah attacks blah blah blah blah evil-doers blah blah blah September 11th blah blah blah patience blah blah blah victory.

[Cut from the President’s speech back to the Lauer/ Rice interview]

ML: The President has already begun to implement the troop increase he ordered, should the American people expect to see results soon, or do you feel that the impact may be more subtle and evident only to those in diplomatic circles?

CR: Thank you for the excellent and insightful question, Matthew. The American people need to come to terms with the fact that they are simply unqualified to make an assessment of what constitutes success in Iraq. They need to sit back and leave the important task of handling this matter to the experts in our government. After all, you wouldn’t want your paperboy to be the one to attempt to disarm a dirty bomb in the middle of Times Square, would you?

[Lauer then genuflects, kissing her ring and the hem of her dress before bowing his head and slowly backing out of the room.]

Ethel

Biological Warfare

2007-03-19T08:44:00.000-05:00

Last evening, two of my three sons began complaining of various maladies. My oldest had a slight cough and a headache, my youngest an “extremely” sore throat. Sunday nights are often plagued by mysteriously rapid onset complaints, usually caused by the impending doom of school on Monday. I did the usual. Checked temperatures: Oldest: 100°, youngest normal. Looked at throats: red. I distributed Tylenol and sent all to bed.

At about 2:00am, my youngest woke with what he described as a “horrible” sore throat. I guess that trumps his earlier “extremely” sore one. I gave him some sore throat strips and sent him packing.

Bright and early this morning, I wielded my thermometer to find out who would win the “Sick or Not Sick” game. My oldest turned out to be the winner with a 101.9°. The youngest was now sniffling and hoarse, but without a fever. I figured it was better to be safe and kept him home as well.

So now I am shut in the house with two sniffling, coughing, feverish children. Jealous? The youngest, between coughs, informs me he feels much better, especially if I planned to take him to the doctor for a throat culture. He has Math 24 Game after school and doesn’t want to miss it. The oldest is moaning quietly on the couch. Both have begun the tentative “I’m bored” complaints in preparation for lobbying for video games and text messaging. (Electronic gaming and messaging is a no-no when you are home sick from school.)

I have dosed myself with Zicam and Vitamin C and washed my hands raw. Everything they touch is being meticulously cleaned with Clorox wipes. Lysol is my friend. I am the germ police. Despite all of this, I suppose I am doomed.

What’s that? I think I hear someone changing the channel on the TV. I had better go sterilize the remote.

Pray for me....

Lucy

New Contact Information

2007-03-17T15:14:00.000-05:00

Please note a change in our contact emails. You may now choose to direct your correspondence to Ethel, Lucy, or the both of us using the links in the left sidebar. Our profile address is slightly different as well, so if you are using the old address.... Update!

Lucy

Mad TV iRack Apple Iraq war parody

2007-03-17T14:37:00.001-05:00

Firefighters Say " Hell, No!!!" To Rudy

2007-03-14T18:54:00.001-05:00

I heard an interview with the IAFF spokesman on the radio Tuesday and was very disturbed by what I heard. I hope you'll read the following letter and then send it to everyone in your address books and post it on your blogs. Let's wallpaper the internet with this one.

On March 14, 2007, the IAFF will host the first bi-partisan Presidential Forum of the 2008 election cycle. No other union and very few organizations has the credibility and respect to attract top-tier candidates from both political parties. The lineup of speakers who have agreed to participate in our Forum is truly a testament to our great union and the reputation we have built as a powerful political force and a coveted endorsement.

John Edwards, John McCain, Barack Obama, Chuck Hagel, Hillary Clinton, Chris Dodd, Joe Biden, Duncan Hunter and seven other candidates will make their case before the 1,000 delegates who will be attending the Forum and to our entire membership via same-day broadcast on our web site.

Early on, the IAFF made a decision to invite all serious candidates from both political parties — except one: former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani.

We made this decision after considerable soul-searching and close consultation with our two New York City affiliates, the Uniformed Firefighters Association Local 94 and the Uniformed Fire Officers Association Local 854, as well as our former Local 94 President and current IAFF 1st District Vice President covering New York.

The IAFF recognizes that Mayor Giuliani generally enjoys a favorable reputation as a result of his actions immediately after the tragedy of 9/11. As such, we want our affiliates and every one of our members to clearly understand the reason and rationale behind this very serious and sober decision.

Many people consider Rudy Giuliani "America's Mayor," and many of our members who don't yet know the real story, may also have a positive view of him. This letter is intended to make all of our members aware of the egregious acts Mayor Giuliani committed against our members, our fallen on 9/11, and our New York City union officers following that horrific day.

Rest assured, our exclusion of Mayor Giuliani is not about any particular contractual or policy issue or disagreement, nor is it based on his unfriendly relationship with our New York City affiliates prior to 9/11 — which we will document and explain in additional correspondence later on during the campaign. In fact, we invited several candidates with whom we have had substantial disagreement on policy issues because we feel very strongly that our members have the right to hear from all candidates, not just those who tow the IAFF line.

Regrettably, the situation with former Mayor Giuliani is very different. His actions post 9/11 rise to such an offensive and personal attack on our brother and sisterhood — and directly on our union — that the IAFF does not feel Rudy Giuliani deserves an audience of IAFF leaders and members at our own Presidential Forum.

The disrespect that he exhibited to our 343 fallen FDNY brothers, their families and our New York City IAFF leadership in the wake of that tragic day has not been forgiven or forgotten.

In November 2001, our members were continuing the painful, but necessary, task of searching Ground Zero for the remains of our fallen brothers and the thousands of innocent citizens that were killed, because precious few of those who died in the terrorist attacks had been recovered at that point.

Prior to November 2001, 101 bodies or remains of fire fighters had been recovered. And those on the horrible pile at Ground Zero believed they had just found a spot in the rubble where they would find countless more that could be given proper burial.

Nevertheless, Giuliani, with the full support of his Fire Commissioner Thomas Von Essen, decided on November 2, 2001, to sharply reduce the number of those who could search for remains at any one time. There had been as many as 300 fire fighters at a time involved in search and recovery, but Giuliani cut that number to no more than 25 who could be there at once.

In conjunction with the cut in fire fighters allowed to search, Giuliani also made a conscious decision to institute a "scoop-and-dump" operation to expedite the clean-up of Ground Zero in lieu of the more time-consuming, but respectful, process of removing debris piece by piece in hope of uncovering more remains.

Mayor Giuliani's actions meant that fire fighters and citizens who perished would either remain buried at Ground Zero forever, with no closure for families, or be removed like garbage and deposited at the Fresh Kills Landfill.

Our Local presidents at the time attempted to meet with the Mayor to stop this despicable treatment of those who perished, but he refused to even see them face-to-face.

The scoop-and-dump continued. And when hundreds of family members of the fallen joined with our affiliate leadership and members to protest Giuliani's decision, he ordered senior officers of the New York Police Department to arrest 15 of our FDNY brothers, including a number of local elected IAFF leaders.

Giuliani modified his policy after the protest because public opinion was so strongly with our members. Ultimately, he was forced to put the fire fighters back on the pile. Our protests were later proven justified as more bodies were ultimately recovered and those families given a chance for some closure and a decent burial.

Giuliani argued that the change was for our own safety, but his argument was empty and without substance. Fire fighters had been on that pile since minutes after the twin towers fell — why all of a sudden, after nearly two months working on the pile, was Giuliani concerned about fire fighter safety?

In our view, he wasn't really concerned. The fact is that the Mayor's switch to a scoop-and-dump coincided with the final removal of tens of millions of dollars of gold, silver and other assets of the Bank of Nova Scotia that were buried beneath what was once the towers. Once the money was out, Giuliani sided with the developers that opposed a lengthy recovery effort, and ordered the scoop-and-dump operation so they could proceed with redevelopment.

In the first few days immediately after the disaster, Giuliani had said he was committed to the recovery of those lost "right down to the last brick." We believed him at the time. But, what he proved with his actions is that he really meant the "last gold brick."

Giuliani crucified fire fighters after our protest and publicly stated that our members were essentially acting like babies, that they didn't have the market cornered on grief. His insensitive statements demonstrated his inability to grasp what members of the FDNY were experiencing.

What Giuliani showed is a disgraceful lack of respect for the fallen and those brothers still searching for them. He exposed our members and leaders to arrest. He valued the money and gold and wanted the site cleared before he left office at the end of 2001 more than he valued the lives and memories of those lost.

Our members deserved the right to continue with a full search for their lost brothers and other innocent victims. Proudly, as you know, the fire service has a code similar to the military, where we leave no one behind. Recovering even a piece of a turnout coat or helmet gave our FDNY brothers and sisters and the families of the fallen some small semblance of peace, something to honor. But hundreds remained entombed in Ground Zero when Giuliani gave up on them.

The fundamental lack of respect that Giuliani showed our FDNY members is unforgivable - and that's why he was not invited. Our disdain for him is not about issues or a disputed contract, it is about a visceral, personal affront to the fallen, to our union and, indeed, to every one of us who has ever risked our lives by going into a burning building to save lives and property.

We have heard from some affiliates that Giuliani's campaign is beginning to reach out to our locals, looking to build support. If you are contacted by Giuliani, Von Essen, or a representative of the Giuliani campaign, we hope you will say not just, "No," but, "Hell no." And please let the IAFF Political Affairs Department know about it by calling (202) 824-1582.

Please share this correspondence with your membership. Thank you. Fraternally and Sincerely, Harold A. Schaitberger, General President Vincent J. Bollon, General Secretary-Treasurer and Past President, UFOA of NYC, Local 854 Kevin Gallagher, IAFF 1st District Vice President and Past President, UFA of NYC, Local 94 Stephen Cassidy, President, UFA of NYC, Local 94 Peter Gorman, President, UFOA of NYC, Local 854
Written by IAFF

A Karmic Finish

2007-03-13T07:39:00.000-05:00

While I don't get the chance to watch much television, I have managed to catch several episodes of The Amazing Race and Survivor over the past few years. Anyone familiar with these shows will immediately recognize "The Newlyweds", Rob and Amber. For those of who have absolutely no idea who these folks are , let me give you a thumbnail sketch... think Boris and Natasha from The Bullwinkle Show... only not quite as bumblingly loveable.

In Rob and Amber's Machiavellian world, lying and cheating are just part of playing the game. The only rule they have is that there are no rules. Good sportsmanship is pathetic and laughable and a strong moral character is seen as something that will only slow you down. At least til now. Although Rob and Amber have consistently come in first and second place in these competitions, all their sleazy scheming got them this time was a cosmic smack-down. Hard as they tried to lie and cheat their way through the challenges, they came in last and were eliminated from The Amazing Race this past week.

While making the morning talk-show rounds this week, Rob lamented that it "was going to kill him" knowing that the competition was taking place and he couldn't participate. Hmmmm... so what's an amoral guy and gal with lots of time on their hands to do?

I hear Ann Coulter is looking for some new people to run her fan club...

(Special thanks to Lucy for the hard work she put into creating this image!!!)

Ethel

Give Peace A Vote

2007-03-11T10:53:00.001-05:00

Iraq and Iran...it's all about "incestuous amplification"...

E

D&G's Definition of Sexy??

2007-03-09T09:17:00.000-05:00

In case you’re wondering, I did not find this picture in a magazine stuffed under a mattress, I didn’t find it in an area marked “Adults Only”, and it is not an ad for a new XXX-rated movie. The photo is actually part of an ad campaign by Dolce&Gabbana to help sell their clothing line… apparently those in charge of the marketing strategy must have felt that women would be compelled to buy once they realized the clothes would make them so desirable they’d be gang-raped by men with six-pack abs.

And this is progress???

Ethel

Another Quote from the Verge

2007-03-08T15:29:00.000-05:00

I, not events, have the power to make me happy

or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be.

Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.

I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

-Groucho Marx

Click Play to hear what Lucy thinks of this quote

More Snow!!!???

2007-03-05T19:00:00.000-05:00

As Lucy and I await yet another in a long series of snowstorms to pummel us once again, we thought we'd share a bit of the "fun" with you. Those of you who live in snowbelt areas will be able to easily identify with our pain, and those who don't... please keep the mocking laughter quietly to yourselves.

Although the "Diary of A Snow Shoveler" has been around the block many times, we thought we'd add new life to it through pictures. Hope you enjoy it!!

Diary of a Snow Shoveler

December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge softflakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snowtires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white s#@& fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, p#&*%$ and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the a#$&(#@ is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0 degees. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches of snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a b*%$*# who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his testicles and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25
Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The WITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches... Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his arse. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

We Made It!

2007-03-05T10:23:00.000-05:00

After a harrowing morning of html, widget codes, and page elements, I welcome you with ~~exhausted relief~~ great joy to our new template. I hope our new layout seems less cluttered and more user friendly. Feel free to leave feedback, I’d love to hear what you think… Unless you have really complicated suggestions – those you can keep to yourself.

A Work in Progress

2007-03-04T11:44:00.000-05:00

Just an FYI, I am going to be attempting to make some changes to our template this week. If you stop in and things are missing or blank, please be sure to check back. I'm a novice, so sometimes it takes awhile for me to figure these things out.

Thanks for your patience... and pray for me... I'll need all the help I can get.

Lucy

Food for Thought

2007-03-03T19:50:00.000-05:00

"In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies."

--Winston Churchill

Must be our government's motto...

Iraq/ Iran... Tomato/ Tomoto

2007-03-02T09:36:00.000-05:00

A Disappointing LOST...

2007-03-01T08:47:00.000-05:00

Last night’s LOST was most definitely a snoozer. As an avid fan, I was greatly disappointed in the lack of any new revelations, either about the island or the characters’ pasts. The episode featured Hurley flashbacks with a stunt-casting cameo of Cheech Marin as Hurley’s dad.

In order for LOST to maintain its fan base, it has to provide a steady stream of information and/or intrigue. Last evening fell short on both counts.

For more with spoilers/specific episode info… click “Read More”

We already knew that Hurley won the lottery. We also knew that he had terrible luck and quite possibly a curse hanging over his head related to using “the numbers” to win the multi million dollar jackpot. People were dying around him. All of those facts were basically restated in a serious of predictable events such as the interview in front of Mr. Cluck’s which ended with a meteor strike and a dead news crew. Same shit, different day.

A very small glimpse into Hurley’s childhood set up a heavy handed connection to the present day. As Hurley tried to start a car that he was fixing with his father, he was told to “hope”. The car still didn’t start and Daddy disappeared on a motorcycle, with quite possibly the worst wig I have ever seen, for 17 years leaving Hurley with a bar of chocolate. The hope and the car connected to the discovery of a VW van on the island. I suppose at some point, Hurley’s abandonment issues with his manipulative father may come into play… but I hope not.

There was really no reason for the van. No reason for any of the storyline. The best parts were when Sawyer joined Hurley, Charlie, and Jin. The joking camaraderie and insults made the episode tolerable.

Kate took off to find Jack, but first she had to get “help”. How predictable was it that she would go find Rousseau, telling her that Alex (Rousseau’s daughter) is with the Others? I saw that one coming a mile away… or however far away their own private Alcatraz was.

All in all, a substandard episode. If LOST doesn’t find its way back to the formula that made it a success, ABC may find that fans are going to get lost….

Next Week's Entertainment News?

2007-02-27T09:17:00.000-05:00

While perusing the entertainment magazines in the checkout line, covers all showing Anna Nicole and Britney in various forms of distress, I was struck by the next tragedies that will most certainly hit newsstands next week. This is how I imagine the headlines:

In an effort to regain unflattering portraits on magazine covers, Lindsay Lohan today shaved her head while flashing her lack of underwear to reporters and vehemently denying permission to perform DNA tests on her daughter. When told she has no daughter, Lohan assaulted the Star reporter with a Kabalah bracelet clad hand, leaving an imprint of an AA 3 month medal (which, incidentally can be purchased on ebay – I am not kidding). Tearfully announcing her return to rehab, journalists reminded Lindsay that technically she hasn’t really been committed to a rehab facility, thus cannot “return”. She has been out daily, not only for work, but for clubbing. Realizing she is Britney-lite, Lindsay wanders off looking for a childhood friend or bad rapper to marry on a whim, wondering aloud how hard it is to catch anorexia.

Ron Paul - Gulf of Tonkin

2007-02-27T08:46:00.001-05:00

As a new report from Seymour Hersh is released indicating that not only is our government engaged in detailed planning for a possible springtime attack on Iran, President Bush is asking for a 24 hour contingency plan that would allow him to call for a strike on one afternoon and have it implemented by the next. The type of contrived incident Ron Paul warns against makes this all the more terrifying... Call your representatives and tell them to " JUST SAY NO " to an attack on Iran.

E

Shaking My Head in Disbelief

2007-02-26T07:43:00.001-05:00

It is a sad week when Britney Spears has to shave her head to knock Anna Nicole Smith off the covers of the tabloids. Enough said.
L

The HPV Vaccine-- What They Don't Want You To Know

2007-02-24T21:51:00.000-05:00

Before I begin, let me first say that I am not a doctor, nor am I an employee of a rival pharmaceutical company. I’m a mom to two young girls, determined to do whatever I can to ensure their safety. When it comes to Big Pharma I am an admitted cynic. With the push (temporarily abandoned) to mandate the Gardasil vaccine, I felt it was my duty to my kids to check out the claims concerning the new HPV – human papilloma virus- vaccine. The following represents a portion of what I found with just a bit of research.

There are, depending upon the source, anywhere between 120 and 300 strains of HPV. Of these, there are 15 strains of the cancer causing type. Merck’s vaccine, Gardasil, targets 4 strains of HPV, two that are the cancer causing type—HPV types 16 and 18, and two targeted strains that cause genital warts. So out of the 15 strains that can cause cancer, the vaccine only protects against two… does that seem like good odds to you?

I then moved on to read the patient insert which is available through the FDA and Merck websites. In its own literature Merck states, “Cervical cancer prevention focuses on routine screening and early intervention. This strategy has reduced cervical cancer rates by 75% in compliant individuals by monitoring and removing pre-malignant dysplastic lesions.” Okay Merck, why then do we need to buy this vaccine if our daughters can avoid cervical cancer by getting yearly pap smears and having any abnormal cells frozen off?

The theory behind mandated vaccination is to prevent highly communicable and potentially fatal diseases like diphtheria, whooping cough, measles and small pox from decimating the population, or at the very least, from reaching pandemic proportions. HPV is a sexually transmitted disease. It is not airborne. It cannot be transmitted through casual contact. If a young woman is sexually active, why not just advocate the use of a condom which would protect her from STD’s as well as unwanted pregnancy?

Additionally, Gardasil, much like the varicella vaccine given for chicken pox, only provides peak protection for approximately 5 years before it begins to lose its effectiveness. It typically takes 10 to 15 years for HPV to develop into cancer with most women developing cervical cancer in their 40’s. Remember, the girls in the targeted range for this vaccine are 9-12 year olds. A nine year old receiving this vaccine would be effectively shielded for five years, until the age of fourteen. If that girl is then exposed to the virus, say at the age of seventeen, when she is most at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, the vaccine will be beyond peak protection and offer little, if any, shield against the virus. Will this young girl, operating under a false sense of security, be less likely to have the yearly Pap smear that could detect abnormal cell growth?

And then, consider this—the HPV vaccine is the first vaccine to use a genetically modified live cancer virus. Making matters worse, this drug, tested on 20,000 16-26 year old women, was never tested for efficacy in individuals within the targeted age range of 9-12 year olds. Added to this is the fact that this 20,000 person test group was about half the size of the test groups used to demonstrate safety of other vaccines, like Prevnar, the vaccine used to prevent ear infections.

And then there are the side effects. Since being introduced in June 2006 there have been 385 side effects serious enough to be reported to VAERS (the federal Vaccine Adverse Reporting System). There are experts who estimate that fewer than 10% of adverse events occurring after the use of a prescription drug or vaccine are ever reported to this governmental reporting system. You do the math. If only 10% were reported there could have been as many as 3,800 adverse reactions within the first six months of use that were never reported. Of the 385 adverse events, two-thirds required additional medical care with one-third in children 16 and under. The Center for Disease Control is reporting side-effects involving massive auto-immune responses. Medical News Today quotes NVIC ( National Vaccine Information Center, a vaccine watch-dog group) President Barbara Loe Fisher, “ Because Merck only studied Gardasil in fewer than 1,200 girls under the age of 16… it is critical that doctors and parents be made aware of the nature of the initial adverse events reports… There are twice as many children collapsing and four times as many children experience tingling and numbness [as those receiving the DTaP]. There have been reports of facial paralysis and Guillain-Barre Syndrome. Any doctors who give Gardasil in combination with other vaccines (other than Hepatitis B) are basically conducting experiments on their young patients…”

Fainting episodes are so common that doctors are now being advised to inoculate their patients while they are lying down. “About 4 reports per day were filed with VAERS in December 2006 for the HPV vaccine,” said NVIC Health Policy Analyst Vicky Debold R.N. PhD, as quoted in Medical News Today. “Some of these girls are getting injured when they collapse after receiving the vaccine and others are complaining of neurological symptoms that should not be ignored… To avoid unnecessary injuries, teenage girls should be vaccinated lying down, not be left unattended, and probably should not walk or drive themselves home from the doctor’s office after they get vaccinated. “

Medical News Today also reports that in a May 18, 2006 report, the FDA staff stated that Merck clinical trial data indicated “…a potential for Gardasil to enhance cervical disease in subjects who had evidence of persistent infection with relevant HPV types prior to vaccination.” Young girls and women now receiving the vaccine are not tested for active HPV infection before vaccination thereby leaving them vulnerable to the vaccine actually causing them to develop cancer.

Barbara Loe Fisher articulates the concerns regarding this vaccine, “How many girls are really having short-term health problems associated with this vaccine that could turn into long-term neurological or immune system disorders? And how many will go on to develop fertility problems, cancer, or damage to their genes, all of which Merck admits in its product insert that it has not studied at all? We just don’t know enough to be mandating Gardasil for anyone, much less 11 to 12 year old girls entering puberty.”

So let’s review, Gardasil doesn’t offer long-term cervical cancer protection, it doesn’t protect against all the cancer causing HPV strains, it has potentially serious side-effects, it could actually increase the incidence of cervical cancer in certain instances, and no one knows whether there will be long-term neurological or genetic damage as a result of being vaccinated.

If all of that doesn’t make you think twice, do a Google search of the bill Senator Bill Frist sponsored, nick-named “Bioshield Two”, that effectively stripped the public of its right to sue the manufacturer of a mandated vaccine. If you knew that a car manufacturer could never be sued for allowing serious safety defects would you purchase one of their cars? Will you let a pharmaceutical company convince you to inject your daughters with a genetically modified live cancer virus knowing that the company has little legal incentive, if the vaccine becomes mandated, to guarantee the safety of your child??? For me, the answer is easy…

Other sources of interest:

Cancer Virus Vaccine Targets Wrong Age Group - Washington Times

Merck's Gardasil Vaccine Not Proven Safe For Little Girls

Merck and FDA "Not Completely Honest"

E

You Go Girl!

2007-02-22T19:27:00.000-05:00

A float depicting U.S. President George W. Bush being spanked by the Statue Of Liberty passes by during the Rose Monday carnival parade in Mainz, Germany...hmmm, I wonder if he'd be smiling if it had been Condi? (AP Photo Bernd Kammerer)

E

I'm still LOST

2007-02-22T15:18:00.000-05:00

I watched Lost last evening, waiting for the reveal of "Three of the Biggest Mysteries Answered", or something to that effect. I'm still baffled. Perhaps even more confused than previously.

Last week's episode featuring Desmond was much better, although it left me saying, "Huh?" numerous times throughout. For comments that may contain spoilers, click "Read more..."

So last night we saw the story of Jack's tattoos. For me, it didn't seem to tell us much that we didn't already know. He is a leader, he is ambivalent, his tattoos and the experience surrounding them confirms it. Got it. Big ho-hum. More intriguing is the appearance of Stewardess Cindy and the children, all of whom were taken by the Others in Season 1. Her cryptic comment, "We're here to watch," left me wishing the episode had focused more on that story than on Jack's inking. Personally, I have assumed that those taken by the Others were alive and being used in some nefarious way, so seeing them wasn't really a big shocker either.

So the 3 big reveals? I guess it was the translation of Jack's tattoos, " You walk among us but you are not one of us," or something to that effect; the fact that the Taken from flight 815 are alive and supposedly living a life better than the survivors; and .... um... I don't know. What's the third question answered? Can anyone help me out here?

I Finally Figured It Out!

2007-02-20T09:19:00.000-05:00

I finally figured out how to format my posts that may contain spoilers for TV shows or other media. Unbelievable how long it took me, I know, and annie and ramani did a wonderful job with the hacks. Annie deserves a huge hug for putting up with my bumbling. I really encourage you to visit their blogs for great hacks, info, and advice: http://bloggeruniversity.blogspot.com/ and http://hackosphere.blogspot.com/index.html.

From this point forward, any spoilers will be hidden behind the "Read More" link. An unfortunate glitch is that the link appears whether or not there something recorded there. To circumvent frustration from having you click on Read More and finding nothing more, we will indicate within the post when there actually is more. As soon as a fix is available I will spend several days swearing and bumbling trying to fix it.

So here's a test of the "Read More" link:

L
If you are reading this, it works.... If not, I've screwed it up again!

2007-02-19T16:09:00.000-05:00

Just a short post today to ask that you help Ruth of “ There Must Be A Million Stories” in her blogging event to benefit the Clatterbridge Cancer Center . Please help this incredible woman and her husband, Mick, as they try to reach their goal of 100 comments. It’s as easy as clicking on the link. Not only will you be helping a worthy cause, but you’ll get the opportunity to get to know these two amazing and inspiring souls.

With love from The Verge

Feb 20:

Thank you so much to all those who visited Ruth and Mick and helped them reach their goal!

It Was Supposed to Be a Little Scary

2007-02-19T15:39:00.000-05:00

I took the family to our dentist for our semi-annual check-up and cleaning. I thought we would be in and out with gleaming smiles and an appointment card for June. We have gone to the same dentist for years. My kids love him and trust him. None of us is apprehensive about a visit to Dr. Gary.

My first clue that all was not going as planned was when I passed my middle son (age13) in the hall and he didn't smile... he just grunted. I continued to the exam room and assumed it was just a particularly nasty attack with the tartar hook until Gary sat down and said, "He has 3 cavities." According to my youngest, who was having his cleaning in the next cubicle, I gasped in a loud, shocked, horrified manner. I was stunned. We are generally very conscientious about oral hygiene so this was really a surprise.

Gary went on to explain that I would need to make two appointments for the filling of these cavities. Since this was my son's first experience with this sort of procedure, Gary wanted it to be minimally traumatic. He promised to give the boy some laughing gas and Novocain and to be very gentle. Considering my son's intense fear of needles and pain, I was dreading all of this.

It took about a week to get the first appointment. It felt like an eternity. I met the initial complaints and expressions of fear with great compassion and calming words. By the time the appointment rolled around I was getting tired of him complaining and trying to avoid admitting that this happened because of his lax brushing habits. 'Oh, honey, don't worry, it will be fine' nearly turned into 'Suck it up and brush your teeth better so we don't have to go through this again.’

The silent ride to the office was heartbreaking. I wished I could relieve his anxiety, but nothing I said calmed him. With great trepidation, I watched Dr. Gary walk my son down the hall with his arm around his shoulders. Thirty long minutes later my son emerged with a loopy grin plastered on his face. Dr. Gary told us that he had done fine and two of the three cavities had been filled. So that this didn’t become a harrowing ordeal, we were to schedule another appointment so the job could be finished.

In the van on the way home, I told him that it would all be over in a few weeks and then he could move on. I gave a short, yet eloquent, speech on the importance of oral hygiene and the avoidance of the dentist’s drill. As I paused, ready to commend him on his bravery, he interrupted. “Mom, I liiiiike that gas stuff,” he giggled.

So the following weeks were not worrisome. Today he had his last cavity filled and again enjoyed a lovely high courtesy of Dr. Gary. Herein lies the rub. He really did like the gas. A lot. In fact I overheard him telling his brothers that the whole “cavity thing” wasn’t a big deal at all.

As empathetic as Dr. Gary is, I wished he had managed to be just slightly more menacing; just a little scare to be filed away in association with tooth decay in my son’s memory. Instead, the boy has no fear of further dental work.

In other words, the whole experience was so much fun he may never brush his teeth again. So, Gary thanks for your kindness. You meant well. But maybe next time, could you throw in an evil laugh or something?

L

Neo-Cons Beware

2007-02-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

I had considered writing a scathing commentary on this article about the beginnings of a neo-con implosion fuelled by arrogance that's reached gargantuan proportions, but I decided it would be best to post the article and let you see it for yourselves... and while you're reading remember that precisely because net neutrality is so vital to our modern free society, it's also the reason the neo-cons want it destroyed.

Murdoch Confesses To Propaganda On Iraq

News Corpse February 5, 2007

Last Friday, at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, Rupert Murdoch sat on a panel where he lamented what he described as a “loss of power” due to the ascension of the Internet and other new media. The notion that this captain of one of the most dominant media conglomerates in the world is trembling in the shadow of bloggers is simply absurd. Especially when you consider the fact that his company is also a dominant player on the Internet with an aggressive acquisitiveness that includes MySpace, the world's largest online social networking site.

But there was a more shocking exchange that took place that ought to have caused more of a stir amongst professional journalists and all freedom loving people. It was an exchange that revealed something that most conscious beings knew, but which I have never seen explicitly articulated.
Murdoch was asked if News Corp. had managed to shape the agenda on the war in Iraq. His answer?

“No, I don't think so. We tried.” Asked by Rose for further comment, he said: “We basically supported the Bush policy in the Middle East…but we have been very critical of his execution.”
Let me repeat this: “We Tried!”

Setting aside the nonsense that they had ever been critical of Bush's adventures in Baghdad, having confessed to being deliberatly deceitful raises some questions. For instance, how can anyone ever again take seriously Fox News or any of Murdoch's other instruments of bias? How can News Corp. continue to pretend that they are “fair and balanced?” How can any other media company exhibit the slightest expression of respect or patronization?

And speaking of other media companies, where are they now? The Chairman and CEO of a media empire that includes the number one rated cable news network, and numerous newspapers around the world, has just admitted that he tried to use that empire to “shape the agenda” in support of a partisan political goal with consequences of life, death, and global destabilization. Why has the media, who you might think would have some interest in this subject, virtually ignored these remarks? We know they were there because, on the very same day, there was a media tempest over remarks by John Kerry on whether Bush had turned the U. S. into an international pariah. That trumped up commotion was led, of course, by Fox News. Even the Hollywood Reporter downplayed the most startling portion of Murdoch's presentation by headlining their story: “Big media has less sway on Internet.” They apparently felt that that was a more weighty revelation than the attempted thought-control exposed by Murdoch.
Where is the outrage? Where are the calls to disband this mammoth and unlawful propaganda machine? Murdoch, who was made an American citizen by an act of Congress because, otherwise, he could not own an American television network, should have his citizenship revoked and be deported back to Australia. Think of the precedent this sets for any other wealthy and ambitious ideologue that seeks to manipulate public opinion. There are plenty of wealthy and ambitious ideologues in the Middle East and elsewhere who may view Murdoch as a role model.

At the very least, it needs to be broadcast far and wide that News Corp. and Fox News are nothing but a tool of the neo-con operatives in government. You might say we already knew that, but this is different. We are not merely accusing them of this stance, they have now admitted it. And it can not be tolerated! Not by any standard of journalistic ethics. Not by a nation that values a free press so much that it incorporated that freedom into its Constitution.

E

Catholic Mass...

2007-02-17T20:22:00.001-05:00

Dane Cook has it pegged. Sadly, it's hilarious.
L

The Dance

2007-02-17T06:58:00.000-05:00

I am not a perfect parent. I’ve made many mistakes, but due to the amazing resilience of children my daughters seem no worse for the wear. And every once in a while something wonderful will happen, like finding a rose blooming beneath a blanket of snow, that makes the trials and tribulations of parenthood all worthwhile.

As she's gotten older, my pre-teen daughter has begun navigating that age-old peer group dance where one small misstep and the consequences can be devastating. The most recent disruption in this choreographed production involved a young girl my daughter has known for 6 years. After an incredibly rocky beginning, the girls made peace and developed a genuine bond. My daughter, even at that tender age, stood by her friend as best she could through her parents’ volatile divorce and ensuing drama. Things have not been easy for this little girl and, due to this, she has not always made it easy for my daughter to be her friend.

Recently, I thought the situation had reached the point of no return. This little girl lashed out and accused my daughter of carrying out an act completely uncharacteristic of her… an act of pure malice. My daughter was angry and incredibly hurt. She felt that anyone who truly knew her would know that she was incapable of carrying out such an act. The armed camps lasted for weeks and both girls were miserable, but equally stubborn in their positions.

A few days ago it appeared that a truce had been reached as the two girls chatted happily on the phone. When they hung up I quipped, “So she decided to forgive you?” And then my 12 year old daughter turned toward me, a solemn expression on her beautiful face, “Actually Mom, I‘ve been thinking about how she brags an awful lot, and how sometimes she’ll exaggerate to make herself sound cool to the other kids… and then I started thinking about how lucky I am to have my family. I know I can always depend on you and Dad…I can trust you. And then I thought about how her dad says really mean things to her and how she can’t trust him, and how she has to deal with having to move so much…She didn’t decide to forgive me Mom, I decided to forgive her.”

It’s in moments like those that I close my eyes in gratitude, thankful for the knowledge that although I’m not a perfect parent, I must’ve gotten at least a few things right.

E

Question of the Day....

2007-02-16T12:43:00.000-05:00

Questions for Our Readers

2007-02-15T08:29:00.000-05:00

A few days ago I asked if anyone would be interested in my views on certain TV shows. Thanks to those who responded! I plan to discuss Lost, House, and others during the coming weeks.

This is where the question comes in: I know that some of you, in other parts of the world, may be in different places as far as episodes aired. I would love to know if:

A) Where are you in terms of seasons/episodes of the series you watch?
B) Do you wish this to be spoiler free?
C) Would you like potential spoilers to be hidden (linked to)?

Off to re-watch my tape of Lost from last night! Gotta go frame by frame for that... um... hmm... guess I'll wait to hear from you before I say!

L

Cause You Don't Know Better

2007-02-14T12:41:00.000-05:00

The proactive steps our government has taken toward protecting its citizens have finally begun to have a trickle down effect on our society. Thank goodness. How this country and its people ever survived for over two hundred years without someone in authority stepping in to protect us from ourselves, I’ll never know.

Much like those tags you find on hair dryers warning that it should not be used while in the bath or shower, officials at a Rhode Island Catholic elementary school have come together to prevent an equally dangerous practice… talking while eating. After three incidents of children choking in the cafeteria, the St. Rose of Lima School has instituted a ban prohibiting talking during lunch. Officials say that while none of the incidents were serious, the ban was enacted to ensure student safety. In a masterful move demonstrating both insight and wisdom, the school deemed that a silent lunch would ensure teachers would be able to identify a choking child in time to administer the Heimlich maneuver… after all, they can’t be expected to merely watch for children clutching their throats and coughing while turning a distressing shade of blue.

Their proactive action has inspired me to come up with a few suggestions of my own:

--From this point forward, I urge that all eye make-up should be outlawed… someone could sneeze while applying it and put an eye out.

--All razors should be banned in order to prevent any accidental decapitations.

--Any paper product that might potentially cause a paper cut should be banned. Not only do paper cuts hurt like the dickens, but they could possibly become infected, perhaps developing into gangrene and thereby leading to the chance that an individual just might run the risk of losing a limb.

--Henceforth, we should be required to eat using only our hands. Yes it will be messy and inconvenient, but we can’t allow every Tom, Dick and Harry access to forks and knives due to their potential use as weaponry. And sorry, but spoons are out too. Remember that twenty-something woman in Australia who got a spoon lodged in her throat in a fit of giggling?

--And last but not least, showers and baths should be outlawed unless the shower or tub is retro-fitted with rubber walls and flooring (which will be provided by the government for a nominal fee) AND provided that the individual wears strap-on suction cups to prevent the possibility of slipping on a wet floor.

I realize that following these suggestions will mean we’ll be a messy, hairy, stinky lot, but losing a few more conveniences and personal luxuries in order to ensure our safety is a trade well worth making… isn’t it?

E

Pets On The Verge: Part Two

2007-02-12T07:52:00.000-05:00

After my initial fish episode, one would think I had learned my lesson...

About seven years ago, my husband was traveling out of the country a lot for work and it always threw the kids into a tailspin. This particular trip's goodbye evoked hysteria and running down the street behind his car in tears. The usual medicine, a movie with a huge popcorn covered in butteroid with sugary soda, did nothing to assuage the pain. On the way home, the tears started again, accompanied by the whimpered pleas for a pet.

I had resisted for years, knowing that I just don't have time for walking, feeding, poop scooping, and whatever else. I already had 5 people's needs to meet and adding a pet just didn't do it for me. But... we stopped at the pet store. One small bowl and two goldfish later, we came home. Note that I wasn't going for a full tank and tropical-potentially-cannibal fish this time.

As you can imagine, Gumby and Pokey were the highlight of the house... for about a week. But hey, they don't require a lot of care and how long do goldfish live, anyway? Yeah. The fish are still here.

In their too small bowl with rocks and a replica of the Parthenon, they continue to swim in circles. It's my fault. I let the bowl deteriorate until it resembles Lake Ontario before I clean it. I think I have boosted their resistance. Gumby has cataracts and Pokey is no longer gold - apparently even goldfish go gray in old age, but they continue to be quite spry, splashing constantly.

One morning recently, my husband discovered Gumby on the floor. He had made an escape attempt! Once deposited back into "the Lake" he was fine, but we have to keep the bowl covered with the sandbox sand strainer to deter any more jailbreaks. Was it a "Finding Nemo" moment or a suicide attempt? I'm not sure, but I cleaned the bowl and replaced the Parthenon with the Rocky Mountains. Hey, even I get crazy when I need a vacation...

L

Pets on the Verge, Part One

2007-02-11T09:02:00.001-05:00

I have nothing against pets. I grew up with cats and dogs and loved them. As an adult, before kids, I was working and didn't want to take on the responsibility of a pet. Once I had kids... well, I had kids. Who needs a pet when you have three little boys running around in various stages of potty training (which often evolves into potty mouth - a topic for another day)?

When my kids were very little they saved their birthday money for an aquarium. We went to the pet store and came home with a ten gallon tank and all the requisite paraphenalia, along with ten tropical fish.

Shortly thereafter, we found ourselves in a situation that required us to move to Boston for the summer. I dutifully asked the pet store what to do and triumphantly purchased several vacation feeders and handed them to my neighbor.

My neighbor did as instructed and dropped a feeder into the tank once a week. She told me that it was getting green in there, but I knew she had three kids and I was NOT going to ask her to do anything more than she was already doing.

Upon arrival home, I discovered long, flowing moss and algae. It was really disgusting. I could only locate two fish in the mess. I scooped them out into a plastic container and took the tank outside where I proceded to scrub and scrub and scrub and scrub... you get the idea. When I came inside for some more paper towels, I found the two survivors on the counter next to bowl I had placed them in. With a sigh of disappointment tainted with relief, I flushed them.

That's when the little black one started to swim. Against the current. Suddenly it was all clear. This little bugger had killed and eaten his roommates! That's why I couldn't find any other remains! And on the counter, the other fish was trying to escape a similar fate and the black one followed him over the edge in a homicidal, carnivorous rage! Oh, he was a devil fish, no doubt. So I flushed again.

Maybe it was a little cruel, but I was not taking that evil deviant fish back into my home... besides, he'd been in the toilet... ewwwwwwwwww! So I flushed again, and that damn malignant beast kept swimming against the current! I was getting really creeped out.

It took four or five flushes to send him away. I felt a little guilty at the time, but justified it as the death penalty for a fish who had obviously killed nine others, and most likely cannibalized eight of them. The guilt eased over time, but I continued to have a twinge now and then. Thank God for Finding Nemo. Thanks, Walt Disney, for telling me that "all drains lead to the ocean".

The only problem is that if that fish is in the ocean... Jaws doesn't seem all that scary anymore.

L

Is the White House Really Just a Hologram?

2007-02-10T12:16:00.000-05:00

I’m beginning to feel as if we’ve all been tricked into believing that the White House is in Washington, DC. I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s actually located in Miami and we’re all living in a Carl Hiassen novel (for those of you unfamiliar with Hiassen’s work, he depicts the inane and bizarre in south central Florida).

There have been several recent releases that have led me to this conclusion:

1. Tim Russert testified this week at “Scooter” Libby’s trial that Libby had not called him to “out” Joe Wilson’s wife, but to complain that White House “tool” Chris Matthews was being too tough on the administration. Too tough on the administration????? When Matthews questions members of the Bush administration it’s certainly not “Hardball with Chris Matthews”, it’s not even “softball”… I say it’s more like “t-ball”.

2. According to recent reports, our government, in its infinite wisdom, sent approximately 312 tons of shrink-wrapped $100 dollar bills in a cargo plane to Iraq… purportedly for reconstruction. As my daughters would say, “Duh”. Even the post office discourages sending cash through the mail… Now I’m no rocket scientist, but do you think this just might help to explain why some of the money we’ve spent there can’t be accounted for??

3. Before his scandal broke, the formerly fabulous Reverend Ted Haggard held weekly “prayer” meetings with President Bush. Ummmm, is that code for something that might involve leather and nipple-rings?

If I’m wrong, I guess this proves that truth actually can be stranger than fiction, and if I’m right, I only have one thing to say-- Mr. Hiassen, if you’re listening, “Heeeeellllllppppp!”

E

Enough with Anna Nicole!

2007-02-10T09:28:00.000-05:00

First of all, she was a "celebrity" for taking off her clothes, marrying an ailing old millionaire, gaining weight, being an ass on television as she bullied everyone around her, losing weight with Trimspa (which basically is like those flat toys that expand when hit with water), acting like she was drunk/stoned and stupid, refusing to have a paternity test for her child, her oldest child's tragic death in her hospital room, and now dying young. She isn't a "tragic figure". She was a publicity whore. And now, in death, she continues to dominate the news.

Let's tell MSNBC to stop the insanity. No need for trash talk. (I did that already, above... I couldn't help myself... I'm on the verge...) Just email them to stop! The goal is to fill Abrams email box by Monday morning.

MSNBC Contacts : Just click it'll open your email :

dabrams@msnbc.com

KOlbermann@msnbc.com

countdown@msnbc.com

letters@msnbc.com

viewerservices@msnbc.com

Thanks to Colorado Bob for the code and the suggestion!

L

**A Note added 2/11: I understand why my comments have irritated some readers, and for that I apologize. Anna Nicole did nothing to deserve celebrity and I am tired of the media constantly pushing her death into the news. I was not a fan of hers, obviously and my post would have read the same during her life and I'm sure it would not be met with negativity because it is the truth. I sincerely hope that you will contact the media and ask for an end to the constant loop of ANS news. If not because of reasons related to her, because you wish to deflect attention from her child, who will suffer from being in the middle of this mayhem.

The Verge Quote of the Week

2007-02-09T22:08:00.000-05:00

“Religion is for people who are
afraid of hell, and spirituality
is for people who have been in hell.”

Liza Minnelli , as quoted by Liz Smith

E

A Winning Strategy

2007-02-08T08:40:00.000-05:00

The following was written by Andy Borowitz... enjoy!!!!!

February 6, 2007

Biden Returns to Campaign Trail With Duct Tape Over Mouth

New Strategy to Keep Candidate On Message

In a bold new strategy to keep his candidacy for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination on message, Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del) returned to the campaign trail today with a strip of duct tape over his mouth.

Political veterans were hard-pressed to think of a candidate who made a successful bid for his party’s nomination with a piece of duct tape sealing his mouth, an orifice generally considered necessary to emit human speech.But after their candidate stumbled out of the gate by making seemingly condescending remarks about a fellow candidate, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill), advisors to Mr. Biden seized on the duct-tape solution as the best way to hit the campaign’s reset button.“Every time Joe opens his mouth, he gets in the way of his message,” said Carol Foyler, a media advisor to the Biden campaign. “Duct-taping his mouth shut is the best way to get his message out there to the American people.”

At a town hall meeting in Davenport, Iowa, Mr. Biden seemed upbeat, offering this response to a voter’s question about Social Security: “Mmmmghfffmmmggh.”

According to Ms. Foyler, for the remainder of the 2008 campaign Mr. Biden will be relying heavily on hand gestures and the art of mime to make his case to the voters.“Biden ’08 is going to be a cross between a political campaign and Cirque du Soleil,” she said.

E

Snow Daze

2007-02-07T12:28:00.000-05:00

In case you don’t live in the northeast portion of the United States, it’s RI-DIC-U-LOUSLY cold here! How cold you ask? So cold that the only happy residents of our fair land are the polar bears at the local zoo, even the penguins are hiding deep within their rookery… they’re from Africa. So cold that not one of the entire fleet of busses our school district uses could be started yesterday… hence, every child’s dream… and the scourge of all parents… the dreaded SNOW DAY!

First, let me make myself perfectly clear. I love my daughters and thoroughly enjoy having them home. Weekends are a happy blur of activity, and I’m probably the only mother on the planet who actually looks forward to summer vacation. Why then does the thought of this extra opportunity for family togetherness make me cringe?

Personally, I think that snow days have a magical connotation for most kids similar to that of Christmas… only without the tree and presents… maybe even better because you never really know when, or if, it will come. This rare gem courtesy of snow and ice has a high price tag though. Normally well-behaved children act like crazed lunatics on a sugar high. What’s a mother to do? You can’t send them outside when the wind chill brings the temperature to a frigid 20 below zero… it’s too hard thawing out kid-sicles.

But the thing that really strikes horror into this mother’s soul is what usually happens sometime between late morning and early afternoon… the plaintive cry of, ”There’s nothing to do, we’re BORED!” When gently reminded of the mountain of Christmas booty- board games, science experiments, crafts, and kits galore- a veritable Everest waiting to be conquered, they wrinkle their noses responding with, “Yeah, but we want to do something FUN!” If you’ve ever been in this situation, you’ll know that nothing short of a trip on the space shuttle will fulfill their desire for “fun”.

It’s at times like these when I need to remind myself that snow days are a gift not meant to be squandered on the mundane. So while I wait for the snow to stop, I’ll put on my crash helmet and snow pants and try to weather out the storm.

E

Another guilty pleasure...

2007-02-06T11:06:00.000-05:00

Okay, I admit it. I love TV. I watch House, Lost, Desperate Housewives, Nip/Tuck, Heroes, Grey's Anatomy, Bones... and yes, One Life to Live, a "daytime drama" aka soap opera.

I am a huge reader and am never without a book in hand, but lately I find myself turning on the set in the evening. Why? Because the quality of those shows is good.

House says things we all wish we could say. Lost is a mystery that pulls you in anew each week. Desperate Housewives, while last season was a bust, makes me laugh... especially with the things I can identify with. Nip/Tuck is unrepentently shocking. Heroes is just plain fun. Grey's is ER Lite, for those of us who don't need the stress. Bones is a new twist on the abundance of CSI spinoffs and ripoffs.

So with all of these smart shows, why do I watch OLTL? First of all, habit. I've been watching for about 20 years. And second, and most importantly, OLTL gave me my first real writing opportunity. I write for The Llanview Banner website. For last couple of years I have been ranting to an audience of 200-500 each column. Soap fans are passionate about their shows and respond to my writing. Some love it, some hate it. But they all read it. They boosted my confidence and helped me move on to the next step. This blog.

So I thank all of my Banner readers and hope they will visit me here. And if any of you are hiding your dirty little soap fan secret, visit me there...

And now a question: Anyone interested in reviews of the shows I have listed? I have considered writing some reviews, but I don't want to waste anyone's time if you aren't interested! Be honest, please!

L

An End to Confusion

2007-02-05T12:34:00.000-05:00

It seems that we have inadvertantly confused some of the visitors to our blog. When we started, we had anticipated writing together often. Unfortunately, our busy lives have prevented us from co-authoring many pieces.

We are the Women on the Verge (plural) and we want to try to alleviate any confusion as to who is commenting or ranting. Therefore, we are going to try to sign our posts with "L" (Lucy) or "E" (Ethel)and an icon with a pic. (We can't sign with our own initials because they are the same! And everyone knows that Lucy and Ethel are equally on the verge.)

If anyone knows an easier way to identify ourselves, let us know, but for now I am going back through and trying to assign blame...er, um... take credit for the archived posts.

With love from the Verge,
L

Parenting on the Verge

2007-02-03T19:18:00.000-05:00

I was in the midst of the final fifteen minutes of my morning countdown until the time I needed to drive my youngest daughter to the bus-stop. As I was brushing through her night-time tangles, my dimple-cheeked cherub looked up at me in wide-eyed innocence and asked, “Mom, what’s a ‘har’?” Barely breaking with my rhythmic brush-strokes, I responded, “Har? Well, that’s one of the words I use when I meditate during yoga.”

I could see the frustration flash across her face. In addition to her dyslexia, she also has some central auditory processing issues that prevent her brain from catching the subtle differences of sounds within a word. Squinting her eyes and wrinkling her nose, she vigorously shook her head. “No, no, not ‘har’… I mean ‘whore’.”

Rule #1 of parenting: Never let them see you sweat.

My mind raced as I quickly took a moment to catch my breath. “Where’d you hear that?” I casually asked.

She rushed to assure me, “It’s not a swear word, mom”.

I assured her that while I understood it didn’t strictly fall within the category of a swear word, it still wasn’t a particularly nice word to use either.

Apparently, a third grade boy at her school had felt it necessary to announce that “whores are bad”. My daughter’s voracious appetite for information compelled her to ask one of the other students what precisely a whore was. The child she chose was a veritable fount of information. She shared with my daughter that “a whore is someone who wears really short skirts, shirts that show their belly-button, and they always wear their hair up”.

Still mindful of the minutes ticking by, it was at this moment that I innocently asked if she’d like her hair in a French braid. The rolled eyes, and the fact that her working definition of the word “whore” would include a high percentage of the female population during the summer months clued me in that I’d need to quickly come up with a definition I deemed appropriate, and that she would feel was acceptable.

My eye on the clock, I explained that a whore was someone who typically didn’t feel very good about herself and, as a result, would engage in negative behaviors to try to attract male attention. I knew I was giving a very broad definition, but it was 6:45 in the morning and how explicit do you really want to get with a precocious nine year old?

I was relieved to see an expression of understanding dawn on her face as she began to slowly nod her head. “Oh, I get it… you mean like a stripper?”

Rule #2 of parenting: When in doubt…PASS!!

I did the only thing I could…I said, “We’ve got to go… you can ask your dad later…”

My New Theme Song

2007-02-03T15:06:00.001-05:00

My big announcement of the day: I have a new theme song. Okay, so I never had an old theme song, but I thought it might be fun to have one. While you might expect something along the lines of "Under Pressure" from David Bowie, I'm thinking that something more positive is in order.

As stereotypical as it is, I love shoes. Shoe shopping is very pleasant and I don't have to worry about looking fat... no matter how skimpy the style! With that in mind, how could I resist a song whose chorus says: "Hey, I put some new shoes on, and suddenly everything is right. I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling it's so inviting. Oh, short on money and long on time, strolling slowly in the sweet sunshine. And I'm running late and I don't need an excuse 'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes."?

** Ugh... messed up my formatting trying to add my signature.... I'll repost the video later, but you can find it on YouTube if you search "Paolo Nutini Today Show".

Best Buy... Worst Buy

2007-02-02T11:33:00.000-05:00

Best Buy really pisses me off. The managerial staff are complete asses. I wandered in to exchange a dvd set that my son had received as a gift. (Back to the Future Trilogy... Someone has to show our kids that there are GOOD movies out there, unlike the one they keep quoting: Napoleon Dynamite.) The second dvd in the set was defective; it locked up throughout the second half and was unwatchable. I told customer service that my the item was defective and she trotted off to the manager. He said that without a receipt from within the last 30 days they wouldn't replace it. He actually whispered to her at the other end of the counter! I told her that was ridiculous. The product is defective and they should replace it for me and return the defective one to the company. There were no visible imperfections or scratches, it was obvious that I hadn't damaged it. I told them they could check it on one of the dvd players in store. They declined. I told them that Media Play and other stores had no issues with that. I didn't want cash, just a working dvd. The manager didn't even talk to me directly. Completely ignored me. Well, actually he watched me from the corner of his eye from his post at a computer. Apparently my Woman on the Verge attitude was showing. I made sure that when I pronounced their policy "idiotic" I looked directly at the weasel.

I came home and called Best Buy headquarters and gave them a piece of my mind. Basically I said that their policy was idiotic and the staff at that store was unprofessional, incompetent and not even remotely helpful. I kept talking until she realized that I wasn't going away easily. She agreed to make an "exception just this once". Like I'm going to feel special? Like I'm going to recant my tirade and recommend to everyone who reads my blog rush off to the best store on earth? Give me a break, honey. They were wrong and you are covering their asses. At least they took down the store info so that Weasel Manager's behavior is on file. I really hope that "this call [was] monitored for quality purposes". Anyway, now Best Buy is sending me a gift card for $24.99 so we can buy the set again. It won't come for 6-8 weeks, if it actually arrives at all.

When Miss Best Buy asked if there was anything else she could do for me, I could swear I heard her cringe. Good. That's the message. Don't mess with a Woman on the Verge.

About A Brush With Chaos

2007-02-02T11:10:00.000-05:00

As some of you may know, we recently had a “spot of bother” that had to be weathered. My blogging partner was utterly swamped by her job and family commitments, and I was blind-sided by a bit of medical mayhem. I could launch into a tirade about a health-care system that seems to be far less interested in caring for the patient than in watching out for the bottom- line, but I won’t. At least not this time.

On January 15th I took my friend to the hospital for what was supposed to have been a “routine” operation. A one hour surgery that might have her out the door later that evening—at the absolute latest, the next morning. My friend, a red-haired tornado possessing the stubbornness of a mule-team (I say this with the utmost loving conviction- having known her for thirty years) had insisted that I would be dropping her off at the hospital. Fortunately, I also possess mule-like stubbornness and completely ignored her request.

In our thirty years, we’ve been through a lot. Together we faced things young girls should never have to face. As we got older we were there for each other through marriages, pregnancies, miscarriages, fertility problems, divorce, and deployments. We’ve cried together and shared a lot of laughter too. So, being divorced, when she was asked to fill out her HIPA form and Health-Care Proxy it was natural for her to give those rights to information and decision making to me. Thank God.

That one hour surgery stretched into a surreal blur lasting twelve hours… and ultimately lasting two weeks. After the first 2 ½ hours passed, panic began to set in. When I finally found someone with information they asked me to wait to speak with the doctor. Never a good sign. Low blood pressure… 60/40… low hematocrit… “we’ll be keeping her in recovery a few hours longer”… “had to fix the bladder that was punctured during surgery”… “don’t leave—too many unknowns”.

Have you ever felt like the world was falling out from beneath your feet??? My first thought was of her seventeen year old daughter... at home... alone. What was I going to tell her? I pictured her as the feisty two-year old she’d been, insisting on taking a bath for the second time in an afternoon… reaching up to me with those dancing eyes and devilish smile… winding those sweet little arms around my neck…

1 ½ hours later my cell-phone rang. A nurse told me she would be connecting me with the “attending”. Never a good sign. I insisted on talking to the doctor face-to-face. I arrived to a flurry of activity. The anesthesiologist was consulting with a colleague. The words “pressure falling” drifted over me. A nurse handed me a box of tissues. The doctor explained that my friend’s pressure and hematocrit were dropping fast. They needed to go in again. Immediately. Did I know if she had any bleeding disorders?

The second surgery over, and four long hours later I was allowed to see her in the Surgical Intensive Care unit. Swollen to twice her normal size and ghostly white, she lay connected to monitors, tubes and drains snaking from her battered body. As the nurse escorted me in he asked if my friend, the red-haired tornado six weeks older than me, was my mother…

Little did I know that question was the beginning of another layer to the nightmarish hell we’d entered. Suddenly staff was questioning me, “Who EXACTLY are you again?” The fact that my name was on the paperwork meant little to them. My questions were met with raised brows, my presence regarded with smirks and suspicion. The idea that we were close friends was inconceivable. So inconceivable that the next morning the doctor questioned her as to our relationship. Worse yet, the anesthesiologist interrogated her so brutally that my friend became hysterical. After having lost 18… count ‘em… 18 pints of blood … still in ICU, playing a macabre game of hide-n-seek with death… my friend was subjected to this for what reason???

While I realize it was at least partially due to a “cover-your-ass” mentality that kicked in due to the fact that my friend had suffered, among other things, a cut artery in the first surgery that had gone undetected, I also believe it was due to close-minded, disconnected people who couldn’t comprehend a long-term bond between two women that didn’t entail sexual intimacy.

What a profoundly sad testament this is for our culture… have we become so disconnected that we are that distrustful of human caring? Are we capable of understanding relationships only within a sexual framework? If this is truly what we have become, then it’s no wonder we’re in trouble. Turn off the TV, unplug from your I-Pod, get out and connect in a meaningful way with the world. Rediscover the richness of human contact. Revel in it. And if you already have it, savor it… and count your blessings for the precious gift you’ve been given.

There Ain't But One Way

2007-02-01T10:36:00.001-05:00

From Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie. Their solution to all of our problems from global warming, world hunger, and Iraq. Do you think our politicians have been watching this?

Molly Ivins

2007-01-31T11:36:00.000-05:00

Molly Ivins' plain spoken, straight- from -the -hip style is a breath of fresh air in a media world dominated by sanctimonious, pontificating blow-hards. May God bless her as she valiantly wages this third battle with breast cancer... and may she find peace knowing that her voice has been heard.

Molly Ivins

Stand up against the surge
January 11, 2007
The purpose of this old-fashioned newspaper crusade to stop the war is not to make George W. Bush look like the dumbest president ever. People have done dumber things. What were they thinking when they bought into the Bay of Pigs fiasco? How dumb was the Egypt-Suez war? How massively stupid was the entire war in Vietnam? Even at that, the challenge with this misbegotten adventure is that WE simply cannot let it continue...

A Bit of Fry and Laurie-The Polite Rap

2007-01-30T14:02:00.001-05:00

For those of you who only know Hugh Laurie from House,MD, here's a video from his past. Pre-House, Laurie was an acclaimed British comedian who often performed with a partner, Stephen Fry.

This is their take on what rap would be like without the ho's and the swearing... Enjoy "Be Nice"!

The Twilight Zone (The Obsolete Man)

2007-01-29T11:11:00.001-05:00

Dedicated to those whose life's work consists of obliterating fact...may your opus one day come back and bite you in the ass...

Lindsay for President???????

2007-01-29T09:25:00.000-05:00

Move over Santa Claus, the children of the world are singing the praises of a new guy in town, Judge Sam Lindsay of the US District Court for the Northern District of Texas. What has this man done to deserve this outpouring of love and gratitude? In a decision that is both stupendous and stupefying, Judge Lindsay has effectively made the case that research papers, card catalogs, and perhaps even libraries, should be illegal. No more lengthy writing projects that require facts that can be cited…no way to even find the facts. How has Judge Lindsay accomplished this? In a January 9th decision Judge Lindsay determined that “deep-linking”, a practice in which an individual provides a link to another individual’s internet site, constitutes copyright infringement . That’s right, directing people to a site that might be of interest, or merely providing a reference, is illegal in the judge’s eyes.

I’m sure our government will be issuing a statement praising the judge’s intellectual prowess and outstanding sense of morality … heck, we may even have a new candidate for 2008.

Ebay: One Buyer's Bad Experience

2007-01-27T17:00:00.000-05:00

I liked ebay. I had purchased and sold several items without incident. I had a 100% rating. All was well in the world. Then I purchased some Bare Escentuals makeup. The seller (who shall remain nameless for fear of retribution, but she had the makeup name in her seller name...) was horrible.

I won and paid for my purchase in full on 11/18. I received an email that a shipping label was printed on 11/28 (which I consider to be an excessive amount of time after the payment). By December 4th, the item had not arrived. I made multiple (4) email attempts to contact the seller to which she did not respond. I then went through the process of obtaining her contact info through ebay. I called her and left a message. Still no response. Finally I filed a dispute with ebay. She still did not contact me! When I went ahead and gave her negative feedback, I finally had her attention. She retaliated with negative feedback for me. She said I paid for "cheap shipping" and then complained about the slow arrival. I paid for first class shipping and paid in full immediately. She finally responded, but not the way I wanted.

This is the kind of thing that is really horrible for an ebayer. Feedback is supposed to reflect the transaction, not the other person's feedback! The process for disputing feedback is convoluted and difficult. It also takes time. A lot of time. And during that time, my score was affected.

By the time the item arrived on 12/13, I was disgusted. I continued to communicate through the dispute process, but she was ridiculous. She claimed the item shipped right away and that it takes that long to get to NY from CA. Riiiight. [I made another purchase after that from a California seller that got to me within 3 days of the auction ending, weeks before my disputed item appeared.] As I was investigating, I found that another ebay buyer had left her similar negative feedback for a purchase on the same day as mine! And she gave negative feedback to that person as well! Hello?

All I was looking for was some communication along the lines of, "I screwed up and forgot to ship right away. I shipped it on (date) and it should be there soon."

I ended up having to agree to have my negative feedback removed from her score so that she would remove hers from mine. I considered continuing the fight, hoping she would get some consequences, but in the end, I needed my rating back and the dispute process seemed to be going nowhere.

So my rating is back to 100%, but I am very wary of other ebayers. Obviously I will never shop with that particular seller again.

I guess it all goes back to "Let the Buyer Beware". So be careful when you are shopping. Check the feedback of others, including feedback that was withdrawn. Comments about that feedback remain visible. Even if that item is just what you want and the price is right... The cost may be a whole lot more than you bargained for.

Save the Internet!

2007-01-23T21:34:00.001-05:00

Enough with the "BUMP"

2007-01-22T10:55:00.000-05:00

As I stood in the supermarket line, I perused the various magazines on display. I admit to being an entertainment magazine junkie (guily pleasure). However, as I scanned the latest rags, I was assaulted with the headlines screaming about "baby bumps" for no less than five female celebrities.

The cover of In Touch screams "Friends worry Britney's pregnant" and inside goes on to show this unflattering photo:

This was accompanied by a caption speculating that she is covering up a "bump". Other mags suggested that Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, and Angelina Jolie are all sporting "bumps".

Okay, are these articles all written by men? We are women. We have curves. Just because someone's abdomen isn't concave does not mean we are pregnant. Sometimes we wear layers, sometimes we stand in an unflattering way, sometimes we are carrying evidence of that extra candy bar, and sometimes we are bloated, damn it!

Get over the "bump" thing and get back to what's really important: What star is adopting a child from a third world country this week?

Save the Internet!

2007-01-19T21:03:00.001-05:00

The possibility looms in the not so distant future that globalmonopoly.com will load in a flash, yet your favorite blog, noundiesforbritney.com, will load slower than it takes you to drive to the dentist for four root canals and an extraction. We need to keep the internet, our last "town square", free and equally accessible to all... not just those with a few million in pocket change. After you watch the video please visit savetheinternet.com.

Entropy?

2007-01-18T07:29:00.000-05:00

To our faithful readers... we apologize for the lack of new reading material over the past several days. We experienced an unexpected period of complete and total chaos.

E & L

No Child Left Behind?

2007-01-13T20:54:00.000-05:00

A visit to the web site of our US Department of Education yielded lots of information about good old H.R. 1 aka the “No Child Left Behind” Act. There is a lot of doublespeak, but this is a good chunk of what I found.

The major provisions are:

ACCOUNTABILITY FOR RESULTS
H.R. 1 will result in the creation of assessments in each state that measure what children know and learn in reading and math in grades 3-8. Student progress and achievement will be measured according to tests that will be given to every child, every year. And there’s our answer about the No Child Act and testing link. If we were really making schools accountable why are we only assessing students? I can think of several ways to make the US Department of Education, NYS, School Administrators and Teachers accountable. And none of those ways heaps more stress on our children.

H.R. 1 will empower parents, citizens, educators, administrators, and policymakers with data from those annual assessments. The data will be available in annual report cards on school performance and on statewide progress. They will give parents information about the quality of their children's schools, the qualifications of teachers, and their children's progress in key subjects. Um… I don’t feel empowered. I also do not feel that the test scores have given me any solid information about the quality of my children’s schools, teachers, or progress. Let me tell you a little story. In middle school, my son never received a grade below 95 in Math. When he took the TONYSS assessment, he scored a “2 out of 4” within a system where “3” is the minimum grade considered “proficient”. This “2” resulted in him being placed in a Math Skills Lab to receive Math support. When I called to inquire about this placement, I was told that any student who scored a “1 or 2” was placed in Skills Lab. My requests that someone… anyone… a guidance counselor, his math teacher… look at his overall performance went unanswered. Ultimately he continued to receive 90s in Math and 100 in Skills Lab, which he treated as a bonus to boost his overall average. So, where, exactly is the empowerment? How is this information helping?

CREATING FLEXIBILITY AT THE STATE AND LOCAL LEVELS AND REDUCING RED TAPE
Under No Child Left Behind, states and school districts have unprecedented flexibility in how they use federal education funds. How much flexibility are we talking here? Because my kids still don’t have textbooks for the most part. They are being handed photocopies of textbook pages and are keeping them in a binder. Where’s this money? Are we spending it on number two pencils and bubble sheet practice pages? SHOW ME THE MONEY. I’ll help figure out how to spend it. Really. Just call.

MORE CHOICES FOR PARENTS
Parents of children in low-performing schools have new options under No Child Left Behind. In schools that do not meet state standards for at least two consecutive years, parents may transfer their children to a better-performing public school, including a public charter school, within their district. The district must provide transportation, using Title I funds if necessary. What about students receiving a substandard education in a public school that passes tests? What choices are available to those parents?

PROVEN EDUCATIONAL METHODS
No Child Left Behind puts emphasis on determining which educational programs and practices have been proven effective through rigorous scientific research. Federal funding is targeted to support these programs and teaching methods that work to improve student learning and achievement. Until someone gets the guts to face the Unions and get rid of tenure, we will continue to have some teachers who teach and some who merely check their email and collect their paycheck. I see the research… I don’t see the changes in practice. Then again, it’s probably all based on test results which are inaccurate. I also take issue with the fact that while federal funding is targeting programs to improve student achievement, there is absolutely nothing mandating support for children classified as gifted.

Coming soon… How my gifted child is left behind.

Security?????

2007-01-13T09:53:00.000-05:00

Plate Reader Helps Cops on the Road

by Greg JohnstonPublished Jan 12, 2007

The Livingston County Sheriff's department now has a new tool to assist them on the road: a license plate reader. It’s all thanks to the division of Criminal Justice.
The instrument consists of two cameras mounted to the top of a patrol car and software loaded into a laptop computer.
As the deputy drives down the road, the system automatically recognizes license plates and compares them against a list of stolen or suspended plates on the laptop.
Typically, a deputy has to manually enter a license plate number to check the status of it.
The city of Rochester received a license plate reader back in 2005.
jme

I know I'll certainly sleep better... how 'bout you???

You Just Have To BELIEVE!!!

2007-01-11T08:36:00.000-05:00

Carl Rove, Dick Cheney, and Condoleeza Rice have crept from their lairs not only to stand firmly behind President Bush in his belief that America can still achieve victory in Iraq, but also to support him in his belief that the 1000 people John Montgomery captured in this photo were actually spelling an acronym for Impressively Macho President Evoking Courage , Awe and Honesty!

Twas the Day of ELA Testing...

2007-01-10T08:08:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here in a dead quiet elementary school building. Every sound is hushed and whispered. Even the most rambunctious of the children are sedated... It must be ELA day.

Bright pink signs are posted everywhere screaming (non-verbally, of course) "QUIET PLEASE! TESTING IN PROGRESS!" It makes me want to run up and down the halls shouting, "NO! I will not be silenced! These tests put undue pressure on my child and are not a true measure of their knowledge! Stop this insanity!"

I want to have a day of testing for the NYS Department of Education (perhaps David Abrams, Assistant Commissioner for Standards, Assessment and Reporting and Richard P. Mills, Commissioner of Education?) and the New York State Legislation geniuses who have decided that our chidren need to be tested to death. I want them to feel the burden placed on the students. Let's see if they can define unctious or ubiquitous. Perhaps they should be required to pronounce certain words correctly... "Guttenberg" or "naive". Maybe a little quiz about the electoral college would be in order or the science of levers. I would love to read their essays just to see how many can use "its" and "it's" properly, as well as the oft misused apostrophe.

But before we test them, let's subject them to grueling week upon week of test prep, test taking strategies, and more test prep. Let's tell them that this test is so important that the grade will follow them for at least 5 more years (yes, my 4th grade son was told that this would follow him through High School).

Those Administrators and Legislators and who do not test well will have to be placed in Academic Intervention and will be required to stay after school. No excuses! It doesn't matter if they normally do very well or if they have test anxiety or if they had a headache the day of the test. Suck it up, baby. This is the NEW YORK STATE TEST.

L